Religion... and religion...

I've often posted about the nature of religion and spirituality. It seems to be a very subjective topic with everyone ready to jump in with their ideas.

We all have our notions of these terms based on our experiences and inherent paradigms, but to make any sense out of it all so that we can communicate successfully and actually be on the same page, we need to find common ground.

The most popular comment is something to the effect of "I'm spiritual but not religious!".

But my point of contention is the definition of  "religion" and "spiritual".

Unrelated pic - just because

Now I'm not saying I have the ultimate definitions, but I've dug around extensively at the root meanings, the cultural interpretations and psychological inferences (sounds impressive!) and come to what I consider a good baseline for the terminology.

Spirituality is the innate part of every human, that longs for purpose, meaning and eternity.
It's the part of us that looks at the stars and the seas and forests and is left speechless in awe.
It's our yearning for meaning to this short, temporal existence. It fires our hearts with imagination and helps us understand love and life. It doesn't have any set form or dogma, it's simply a part of our existence.

When we talk about being spiritual, what are we actually saying? Most of us would agree on the above statements, give or take. But we also add our own belief systems into the mix, creating a confusing definition that others easily misinterpret.

Religion however, is the application of theories supported by subjective experiences, doctrines (formalised theologies and beliefs systems) and rituals that help us make sense of our innate spirituality. (Wikipedea: Religion is any cultural system of designated behaviors and practices, world views, texts, sanctified places, ethics, or organizations, that relate humanity to the supernatural or transcendental. Religions relate humanity to what anthropologist Clifford Geertz has referred to as a cosmic "order of existence".[1] However, there is no scholarly consensus over what precisely constitutes a religion)

Using this definition, we can see that all the major "religions" clearly fit the definitions. But millions of people explore "alternative", "new age" or what they call pure spirituality without realising that they are also embracing religion.

I recently engaged in a tense discussion with a friend about things like chakras, reiki, and similar forms of "spiritual" practices. Although our biggest problem was to do with definitions, it did cause me to stop and think about the whole issue again.

Whatever methods we use to interpret and apply our innate sense of spirituality is basically a religion! We may embrace various forms of "new age" teachings or traditional teachings from indigenous or ancient cultures - a whole range of practices we consider as spiritual but not religious. But in fat, the moment we apply some form of methodology, interpretation and application of a spiritual concept, we have adopted a religion.

This in itself is fine! We have to, so that we can apply the principles in a constructive way. It's not "bad" to practice religion in any form because it's the only way we can live by our beliefs.

But here's where the rubber hits the road...

• Do you think your religious applications of spiritual concepts are "the truth"? 
• Do you proclaim you have the real deal and other people need to be enlightened to the reality of your beliefs? 
• What are the "fruits" of your beliefs (that you apply as a religion to your life)?
• Have you refined your beliefs into a form of religion that has become dogma? (a principle or set of principles laid down by an authority as incontrovertibly true)

So many people claim they have rejected religion to discover "true" spirituality, free of the dogma and oppression of religious fundamentalism. but they are unaware that they have simply shifted from one form of religion to another - that they have accepted another dogma with just as much passion as they claim to have rejected. 

What we fail to see is that any form of religion and dogma is entirely subjective - there is no empirical evidence for any spiritual beliefs or the applications of those beliefs through a religious structure.

Whatever we embrace is, by it's very nature, subjective and cannot be defined by dogma. Whatever we believe, we have two primary considerations - do we regard it as dogma, and what is the fruit of that belief?

If our "religious"  belief and expression is in any way exclusive, creates an "us and them" mentality, denies unconditional love to all humanity, then we have failed at the most fundamental level. We must examine our beliefs and be prepared to let go of all our assumptions.

It's OK to be wrong.

It's OK to lose unshakeable beliefs.

It's OK to have an existential crisis.

It's OK to simply "be".

Live loved - because that is all that matters!

The Windowless World of Religion

I see christians (and other religious followers) argueing over doctrines and the fine points of theology...
I see all the countless hours of study into hermeneutics, exegesis, eschatology, etc...
I see the endless debates of literalism, fundamentalism, liberalism, universalism, preterism and all the other isms...
I see the authority structures built around this, the biblical roles and ministries...
The endless stream of books, articles, blogs, opinions, sermons, videos...
Centuries of bloody conflict - physical and psychological - abuse at every level...

The christian religion (as with all others) is a juggernaut that lives and moves under it's own momentum. It has created it's own world, governed by it's own god and it's own special scriptures. It has it's own world view and unique paradigms, all maintaining the relentless motion of this vast behemoth.

But it is, none the less, just one entity. It exists within millennia of other religious paradigms - other beliefs that take on a life of their own.

There are greater forces that unite us more than ANY religion, or spiritual practices. The way forward as a species is to be willing to mature beyond the needs that these beliefs meet - to let go of the insecurity and fear and embrace what is right in front of us. We already know what to do, how to live, how to love. We already ARE enough, and don't need the things that religions offer.

It's time to step out of the windowless dark buildings of religion, no matter how good they seem from the inside.

Love IS, embrace it, live it.

Religion, Spirituality and enlightenment

The never ending need to experience and understand something bigger than ourselves, something beyond our flesh and blood lives is an obsessive human endeavor.

As a result, there are countless disciplines, religious movements, cults, you name it, that have come and gone since man first became self aware.

Each venture into the non-physical world through millennia of questioning and exploring reveals aspects of our makeup and our needs. We see primitive religions creating external deities to provide answers. We see mystical disciplines that look inwards and endless variations and combinations of the two.

The road to "enlightenment" (whether it be with an external deity or internal exploration) is complicated and twisted, winding in and around our incredibly complex nature.

Every form of spiritual endeavor has disciplines, theologies, doctrines and sacrifices that each one embraces to achieve it's goal. But without exception every "road" requires a devotion to it's beliefs and practices, study in it's principles and applications, teachers and disciples, structure and leadership.

What if all of this could be simplified?
In fact what if the utter simplicity of it all has always been staring us in the face?
Perhaps we like the idea of achieving some unique skill that elevates us above the mundane and the ignorant and the "glory" that goes with it (ego perhaps).

But the true value of any spiritual path has to be in its universality - it must be simple, doable, and desirable for every single human without the need for years of intense study and discipline.

I look at christianity and it fails in this regard from the ground up. In fact all religions fail in this regard as they claim exclusive truth, demanding adherence to their doctrines to achieve "enlightenment" or "salvation" etc.

I look at Buddhism and all it's variations, and all the eastern mystical beliefs, and although they are based on more realistic premises than theistic beliefs (such as christianity) they still require years of discipline and devotion to reach their goal.

What if there is a simple universal truth that every human can embrace right now?
What if we can adopt it and simply grow with it ourselves, using what's already in our heart?
What if the only thing required of us to walk this road is honesty and integrity?

What if this thing is nothing more or less than love?

Ponder this and it's implications. Examine your own ideas and assumptions about the nature of "love". Look inside and ask if yourself if you've ever experienced unconditional love. Perhaps even ponder what unconditional love looks like!

More to come....

Bless me Jesus!

(I'm "testing the water" with this article - still tossing around the deeper implications and refining. It's almost part of my "theory of everything" lol, although any sane person knows that may never happen)

I was reading an article about Usain Bolt and his deep christian faith. It reminded me of so many other celebrity christians who give all the credit to Jesus for their achievements and praise God for his blessings when they achieve a victory in their chosen field.

I'm not discrediting Usain's faith as such, or any other christian who believes the same way. But I'm looking at the mechanics, as it were, of this faith and blessings business.

Every religious belief system has some aspect of this idea built into it - the idea that God "blesses" us we we give him thanks/praise, and that we should thank him when good things happen. Its a mentality of gratefulness, thankfulness and joy in what we have or achieve. Its waking every day to thoughts of gratitude etc, whether they be directed to the christian god or any other god. All the self help movements, "new age" philosophies, eastern religions etc, embrace the same idea in some form.

Why? Because it works!

It really does work! When we look for the positive, and live with that underlying "attitude of gratitude" (sorry for the platitude), we invariably live life better, fuller, more joyfully, and with more peace. It's just how we are wired.

So lets just put this fair and square where it belongs. It's nothing to do with God. He's not blessing us and answering prayers, he's not guiding us, or looking for our praises, or asking for our obedience in return for a better life. When we adopt an eastern philosophy or new age methodology, it's not the spirit or energy or vibrations or whatever, it's just the simple, practical way our brains are wired. Sure, maybe there is something about energy and consciousness and some deep god thing, but there zero proof for that - it's all just good ideas based on a few hints and theories - nothing more. And to say otherwise is simply proclaiming your beliefs as a religious dogma, rather than one possible way of applying universal principles.

Yeah, say it - I'm a party pooper - a killjoy! I'm on a mission to take the wind out of your most precious beliefs in the hope that we can see spirituality for what it is, remove all the vestiges of religious dogma, and work together in a way that makes us all better, loving people.

Muslim musings & religious ramblings

With all the terrorist/Muslim rhetoric going around it's easy to get lost in it all.

I'm very impressed with, and totally support, the move to separate the extremist beliefs and actions from the mainstream Muslims, as I do with any religion. It's a sign of maturity and the ability to exercise non-reactive thinking.

It's also incredible that millions are coming to the realisation that we must respect each other's beliefs and aim for a deeper level of understanding and unity amongst all of humanity.

But I keep looking at religion in general. I mean ALL religion. And by that I mean the whole concept and need for religious belief systems.

Now if you're a regular reader of my rants and raves, you'll realise that I have constantly questioned the whole paradigm about our need for building religious systems.

We all do it - yes even me! We can't help it. We form ideas about the nature of life, God, the universe and everything, and formalise it into a system or structure that helps us to understand it better, and act on it. Even atheists do the same thing, the only real difference is their anti-theism viewpoint.

But we just can't help ourselves - we decide that our system of beliefs about the universe and spirituality are the best/most logical/most spiritual/most beneficial/most life changing/most... anything really...

We fail to realise that they are simply ways of seeing something that we just don't have the full depth of knowledge about yet. We don't know what the "spark of life" is that we all have. We don't know what was before the big bang. We don't know what's inside a black hole. We don't know so much!!

But we are learning!

200 years ago, we used religious belief systems to understand and describe things that we now completely understand in a rational and scientific way. The "need" for a religious belief system for these things has gone, because we can see how they work - no more mystery.

We are learning at an even more rapid rate, and areas like quantum physics are now explaining some of the most foundational questions about the "nature of everything". SO much is simply being stripped away from needing to be viewed in any religious belief system.

This is a wonderful thing, because it allows us to see the true value of our humanity, that transcends all religious/spiritual systems. Finally, we are beginning to see that science and spirituality are the same thing, and we are ready to move into this new level of understanding.

So back to my point...

Religion is the problem - not just accepting and respecting each other's beliefs, although that's an amazing and essential step on our journey - but the whole concept of religious systems is the problem. They can't help but separate at the most fundamental level. We can modify our religion and find the unity in the basics of every belief system (well, some of them at least), but they are still inferior and short-sighted stop-gaps that divide on some level, until the day when we will understand the true nature of life/consciousness/God etc.

I propose we keep aiming to move past religion in any form. That we simply recognise whatever belief system we have as a stepping stone - something we need as a source of comfort until we truly understand. We just have to look at the last 200 years to realise how redundant most of religion has become. And even my thoughts I'm expressing here are limited by my own perceptions, and I can already see holes in what I'm saying, lol. But if we don't express this stuff, if we don't discuss and realise these foundational issues, we will never grow and achieve the very thing that we ALL crave.

I am God!

Now that will get a lot of you shouting blasphemy and heresy!
Jim's finally lost the plot! The devil's taken his soul!
But hear me out, it's just food for thought...

I am God!

I'm not A God
I'm not THE God

But I'm God, we are God, God is US!

Every infinitesimal part of me - every quantum "particle" of vibrating energy is an integral part of God. We are indivisible. There is nothing that is not God.
The "pool" of universal energy (and that many call universal consciousness) that all energy arises from, is God.

Each of us, the totally unique assembly of incomprehensibly complex energies, is God. We are all part of God. We can't be greater than, or less than God, or each other, because we are all of the same life force. There is only energy. All that we see and experience with our senses is nothing more than synchronised energy that our mind uses to create the illusion of the "world" around us (that is a scientific fact).

Every religion has the essence of this incredible truth hidden in its teachings and writings somewhere. Often it's so hidden by semantics, ritual, legalism, authoritarianism, power structures etc, that it's lost to all but a handful who care to see through the tangled mess.

Every religion has tried to create an external God that looks like themselves, and declared this shabby, fickle image to be the only true God.

We are ALL God - every single one of us! We are ALL made of, part of, inseparable from God.

I know there are a million arguments as to why this could not be so. I know that what we experience of human nature flies in the face of this idea.
But what if it IS true?
What if the only problem is we have simply forgotten who we are?
What if when we look in the eyes of another human we are looking into the eyes of God?
What if we take the time to consider this and all it's implications?
What if all the dreamers, peace keepers, mystics and gurus are right?

I AM God - think about it - I mean, really think about it. Think about the fact that the way you perceive everything now - every thought process running through your head - is nothing more than a paradigm slowly built from the day you were born!

It's possible, more than possible, that we ARE God, God is US.

What is reality?

I've been reading again (dangerous activity!).

I've always been fascinated with quantum physics, even though I struggle to comprehend so much of it, as I guess most of us do.

But I dig around through heavy stuff and then try to find more simple explanations before my brain implodes.

What's becoming the clearest thing so far, that cuts through all the pseudo-science, metaphysics and philosophical assumptions are a small handful of facts. Facts that are now beyond question. We may have heard some of these facts and thought "wow isn't that amazing!" or just put it in the too hard basket, because really, they are so far reaching in their impact that the implications are, for most of us, just too bizarre.

So here we go (this is my best shot at a short summary and may not be the most accurate description):

• Solid matter does not exist - everything is simply energy
• Energy can be waves or particles depending on whether they are being "observed"
• Before they are observed they can be anywhere - the act of observation gives them location
• Time is not "linear" in the quantum world - things don't happen in a logical series of events in the way we understand. Our observing something can change its past
• Quantum particles can be synchronised and affect each other instantly, no matter where or when they are 
• The world as we observe and understand it, only exists in our minds

The list goes on. Suffice to say that things just don't play nice. They stuff up our tidy little world on a scale that defies sanity.

So, here's the crunch - the quantum world IS THE REAL WORLD!

That's right, we have a tiny range of senses that can only grasp an infinitesimal part of this interaction of energy, creating the illusion of time and matter. We are so much more than what we see around us that its a bit like asking an amoeba to write a thesis on philosophy.

The simple fact is that we are just a synchronised assembly of energy vortices that comes from and interacts with the unfathomably immense sea of energy that simply IS - and some fields of physics are even saying that this sea of energy could actually be universal consciousness, that consciousness is the source of all energy, not the other way around!

We can use this knowledge to begin to interpret what spirituality really is, and that's where we can only make assumptions. For me, I now think that "god" is this sea of conscious energy. But not God in the sense of a being who has ultimate control over our destiny, but simply the source that brings life. We are, for a brief moment, a focal point of synchronised energy that is self aware, and that will return to the greater awareness and perhaps continue in its growth, in union with the universal consciousness again.

I don't really know, and of course no one does! Religion, ALL religion, is nothing more than a construct to try and give meaning and purpose to our current existence as defined by our tiny physical senses. That's OK, we need it to some degree, especially as we are still learning so much about the real universe. But the need for religion is crumbling rapidly (yes, I know all the theological responses to that!) but the de-constructing of religion is bringing real purpose, life, unity and love to this world, despite the frantic claims of theists. Perhaps the ultimate fact is that unity through the synchronising of energy is actually the definition of love - its the only thing that holds the universe together and brings life!

Common Truth

It's amazing how the further you go on this journey, the deeper you go down the rabbit hole, the more you unravel etc... the more you find deep common truths, and the paradox's of life, and that we really don't know much at all.

Although I no longer hold the basic tenets of christianity, there are still deep truths in it all, if we want to sift through it all, if you can be bothered. But then, our limited understanding, senses, world views etc. demand our labours, our passionate efforts to find some sort of truth we can hang our hats on.

It's easy to not partake in that work though. We love to find others who are "doing it" and just accept that they have found "it", and tag along for the ride. And there are countless rides to be had! Even in christendom there are so many conflicting beliefs, and when we open our eyes a little, we see the problems, so often jump off one ride and on to another, thinking it's better in some way.

But it's just another ride, in someone else's car. We don't want, or are fearful, to drive our own car - be responsible for how we drive - maintain the car - fix it when it breaks, or even get another one when it's beyond repair! (not sure how well the analogy works but I'm sure you get the idea, lol)

Dogma is the most damaging symptom of our spiritual laziness. It says "I have the whole truth and nothing but the truth and you must believe my truth to be accepted". It says "I'm right and you're wrong". It says, "my whole life journey is valid but yours isn't". It divides and destroys at the deepest level. It creates fear, anger, hatred. It truly is one of the most "evil" things we can do to ourselves and humanity.

When we refuse to see that religious systems, of any form, are subjective, we have embraced dogma at its most foundational level. Whatever your belief system may be - it's entirely subjective. It may be a very valuable belief system that embraces methods and disciplines that enhance our humanity and love, or it may be destructive, but if we don't accept that it's OUR subjective belief system, then we are ultimately responsible for the evil we see around us.

If your belief system does not embrace the core universal elements of love, unity, compassion and empathy, then you have completely missed the point. If you treasure your belief system more than the "fruit" of that system, then you have embraced the problem and not the solution.

I have no issue with whatever religion we may choose to help understand and live those core and common truths - we all need a "handle" that helps us personally understand these truths, but every single person's "handle" is different and subjective to their unique identity and experience.

You can even make the most beautiful spiritual practices into destructive dogma. So lets take the time to do the hard work, to recognise our tendency towards destructive spirituality, and encourage everyone to explore the only thing that truly brings life - LOVE.

(I hope I'm not being too dogmatic about this!)

Through religion, and out the other side

This is probably more of an article than a blog. So grab a wine first.

I've spent a long time de-constructing Christianity (and religion in general) because I've lived through the worst of it, and seen the inestimable damage its done to so many, as well as the damage it's done to mankind in general.

I do this because it needs to happen. We need to be honest about this stuff. I recognise my bias/paradigm in all this, and would never deny it.

I have denounced the bible and traditional doctrines in no uncertain terms - not because they are devoid of any truth, but because to see any of the truths in a way that has real value to humanity in general, or to us individually, requires a level of "maturity" that not many have allowed themselves to achieve.

That's not meant to sound patronising, so I'll unpack that idea a little.


There is a "levels of faith" process described by Brian McLaren that lays out 4 distinct levels of growth or progress through our beliefs. It's not perfect of course, and often the lines are blurred between the levels, but it serves its purpose. (The levels can be applied to just about any religion).

1. Simplicity: Seeing everything in black and white - right and wrong - us and them. God is the ultimate authority who must be obeyed. The truth is knowable and liveable, but only through our belief system. This is where fundamentalist/literalists generally fit.
2. Complexity: There are many ways to grow and serve God. Life and spirituality is measured by goals, purpose and success. Authorities are the experts and can coach and direct us. God is the ultimate guide/coach. This is where your average church sits.
3. Perplexity: Everyone has an opinion and we can never know who is right. Beliefs are more subjective and relative, but being honest and authentic is crucial. There's a distrust of authority and a tendency to be highly cynical. Although passionate about integrity, there's a strong tendency to be highly critical and negative. Most leave the church at this stage.
4. Humility: There is an understanding of unity and deeper truths - our connectedness and focus is on wisdom and love instead of doctrines and dogma. Love becomes very practical and unconditional. Life is mysterious and paradoxical.

Most of us are happy to be told what to believe, how to live a good life etc, and as long as it represents good morals and makes reasonable sense we are happy to go with it. That's not necessarily a good or bad thing, but it is a lazy thing. It's deferring the responsibility for our core identity and belief system to someone else. It's lazy because we can "believe" something simply because heaps of others believe it, and assume that it must be true. This is basically level 1.
I would say that it's only beneficial for little kids, to provide boundaries of safety as they learn to think critically and mature. This is not a good place for any human to live, although it's often part of our spiritual journey.

The last few years, I've been struggling through level 3 and moving into level 4. Although I hate the clinical labels, it does help to map where I'm at and ponder where I'm going in my spiritual journey. I'm finding more and more people struggling at level 3, seeing all the inconsistencies, hypocrisy and just about everything that makes christianity a laughing stock at best, and a damaging blight on the face of the earth at worst.

To get to this stage can be soul destroying, causing a complete crisis of faith, often resulting in totally abandoning all traditional beliefs and even becoming atheists. A few manage to sift through all this and find a far deeper understanding of God and life, and move into level 4. For myself and many others, this isn't a clear cut process, but I can certainly attest to the reality of level 3, as we become critical thinkers, using logic, reason, science and above all, honesty and integrity, to examine our belief systems.

I have probably always tended to see aspects of the mystical and higher truths, but always felt trapped in seemingly logical constraints of fundamentalism. Finally leaving christianity, as it's known and represented in the first 3 levels, has felt like walking out of a school hall full of hyperactive screaming kids all throwing tantrums, into a beautiful serene forest with flowers and a little stream... you get the idea!

But to communicate to those still living in the other level is almost impossible. Level 1s will call anything else heretical. Level 3s will despise the lower levels as ignorant fundamentalists, and often fail to see the potential to keep growing. Even those at level 4 can tend to be dismissive and patronising of others apparently stuck in fundamental beliefs.

For myself, I'm still transitioning into level 4, as I wrestle with all the crap. But the level of peace I'm experiencing as it all falls away is astonishing. Doctrines become irrelevant. There is no in or out, us and them. Unity, love, integrity, compassion and empathy, have become the only things that matter, and love has become tangible. Love is becoming something I see in everyone without even trying. Living loved is becoming a natural part of me.

Life is still rich and complex. I act out of selfishness and ego, but I recognise it more than ever, and am finding myself more teachable than I've ever been, getting less offended about stuff. My heart for compassion and justice, to help the underdog and the broken is becoming real, rather than an obligation. I no longer have to "act" loving in defiance to my "sinful" nature, I just do what I feel, which happens to be more and more loving.

What used to be unreachable/unrealistic ideals is becoming reality.

So how does this relate to anything practical? Glad you asked!

I'm finding that Silent Gays is directly aimed at those struggling through level 3, compounded by their sexual identity. I seem to be finding people who are ready to jump off the cliff of faith, or those who have already jumped and are needing an ambulance. Realising all this is helping enormously in my focus and methodology.

I'm worried though, as a read through the blogs of my journey, that it sounds like my "growth" makes me, and others who relate to "level 4", superior and patronising, and that is the last thing I want!!

If anything, I understand why people cling to dogma and black and white thinking. I get the whole need for strict authority structures for some. But it's my passion to help people move through that phase and into greater freedom and peace.

I no longer see the bible as a historical book in any sense, and I'm not really concerned if Jesus was even a real person. If there is anything to be learned from scripture it's in hidden and deeper metaphor, which could be why so many "mystics" of the centuries, have drawn any life out of it.

Spirituality is constantly growing and changing as society and culture change, as science and technology change - because these sciences discover the reality of our physical universe and how we interact with it. And that has to change our spiritual concepts whether we like it or not.

Christianity, and all religions, can serve a purpose if we are taught to use critical thinking to see the deeper universal truths. But it takes time and a willingness to be wrong - about everything - all the time. And that's something we don't like very much!

Do I hate christianity?

This isn't going to be an easy or short blog, just sayin...

Someone innocently said I hate christianity today. It was an interesting comment and I had to stop and think. I went for a walk (my default processing mechanism) and pondered this, pulling together all my random thoughts, sifting through my reactions, looking at how I've grown and changed over the last few years.

I decided that it was a serious comment I couldn't take lightly, even if it wasn't intended that way.

If you've read my book you would understand my journey and why I have left it behind.  I can still respect where people are at with it, and understand the comparative freedom and peace it brings to so many. Its just that I regard it as one of many stepping stones in our understanding of spirituality. It can be used or abused like any other belief system.

But...

Do I hate it? I have to weigh up everything I know about it over the 40+ years of being deeply devoted to Jesus. I was a Jesus purist in many ways, and always strived to see the reality of Christ through the "religion", although miserably failing most of the time to see all my glaring inconsistencies and hypocrisies!

I think "hate" is the wrong word, or at least just one in a long list. I have to sift through the emotions I've experienced and would say that they cover disappointment, frustration, confusion, embarrassment and a sense of "what a fool I was". I'm repulsed by the control and manipulation of religious leaders - big and small. I loath the self righteousness of fundamentalism and biblical literalism. There is a lot of deep emotion there, and hate may well be among it all.

Perhaps frustration is the primary emotion. Frustration at the unwillingness of christians in general, to be willing to see beyond their mindset. It's that whole sense of "we've got the ultimate truth", christianity is the only way any human can be "saved", and the absolute devotion to bibliolatry - the worship of the bible as the complete and only source of truth and the revelation of God in its entirety.

There is an inherent sense of arrogance in christianity (although most religions are the same to various degrees) that is repulsive. But it hooks people in. It's that sense of belonging to an elite club - the "saved", the "righteous ones", those who have "made it" into the kingdom. It builds complex doctrines enforced by centuries of tradition and dogma, twisted by cultural, political and social paradigms that constantly aim to reinforce the exclusive nature of christendom and its superiority to all other religion (again, many other religions also have the same mentality!)

I've written other blogs about why I think christianity works as a belief system, but does that mean I endorse it? Would I tell people who are looking for spiritual meaning to look at christianity as a viable option? Probably not!

If you are currently embracing the christian paradigm, then I would say that's fine, just don't "park" there, in the sense that you need to keep asking questions, explore, dig deeper and recognise dogma for what it is. Yes, the psychology behind christianity can provide a lot of comfort and peace, and that has it's place. It's an easy religion to use as a psychological booster, especially with it's concepts of scapegoating, sacrifice, forgiveness etc.

But it also encourages us to stop there, without questioning. It demands that we refuse anything outside of it's own paradigms and constructs. It builds complex and punitive doctrines to keep people at at that level of spirituality.

I could go on but you're probably bored by now!

So yeah, umm, do I hate christianity? Mostly, I guess I do. Despite the benefits it may have hidden in its doctrines, I hate it's passion for dogma, it's exclusiveness, its bigotry and patronising expression of love. So in those terms I hate ALL religions! I just don't have the working knowledge of all the other ones to speak with any authority.


For those few christians who manage to weave deeper spiritual truths and real love into their beliefs, I say congratulations and "go for it", and be prepared to keep growing, no matter where it takes you! But you are a minority and will suffer (something about the narrow road, lol).

Our real nature, the reality of who we are, of what the universe is and how it all works is so much bigger and better than the little christian religion that its almost laughable. Not that I have much to offer, apart from a passion to search, question, explore and live with as much integrity as we can!

Silent Gays Meeting

Meeting Saturday 23rd May at Dazzle Cafe, Ponsonby - 1:30pm to 3:30pm

A safe place to find love and support for LGBT people who've suffered at the hands of religion and the church, to explore their spirituality outside of religious dogma, and be loved simply for who they are.

RSVP:

Facebook Event

or

info@silentgays.com

No more stuffing around

Over the last few years I've been through the process of completely re-assessing life in every way - from my sexual identity as a gay man to the very foundations of my spirituality.

Part of this process has been writing my story in the book "It's Life Jim.." (which I'm sure you've all read!). The other even more significant part of this has been the setting up of the Silent Gays project.

Interestingly, I've been dubbed a "christian gay author" in the media, although I didn't want to be stereotyped I thought what the heck, it helps me target the christian world.

But the problem is that I'm not really christian any more. I'm not trying to help christians understand that its ok to be gay and christian. I'm challenging the entire christian paradigm that created this mess in the first place!

I'm not particularly interested in doctrinal arguments (although I can engage at that level). I'm really trying to address the narrow minded bigotry that religion has created. I'm addressing the damage that it causes on every level.

My real heart for Silent Gays is to help LGBT people (and anyone really) who have had enough with religion and want a safe forum to explore, to question, to express anger, fear, abuse and frustration, to be amongst people who will actually listen without judgement and religious bias.

I've outgrown christianity. It was my "salvation" for most of my life and kept me alive, gave me a solid reference point that I could hang on to. I can respect those still in it, and completely empathise with their dependency and passion for it.  But its like a baby sitter that is no longer needed. It confined me to the safety of the nursery until I could step outside to see the enormity of all that is life.

So I'm dropping any pretence of trying to maintain credibility in christian circles. I'm going to aggressively (but lovingly) target those who have silently and painfully questioned everything for so long - who are torn apart inside, looking for something bigger and better - desperate for unconditional love and acceptance without any strings attached.

There are millions of people in this place, trapped by the fear of rejection by God and going to hell, terrified of the consequences of leaving, or even questioning, their current religious situation. And it's not just LGBT people, although they are my primary "target".

So I'll be refining my resource materials, tweaking the website, and working on getting the word out there.

Its time for the world to grow up and really understand what it is to live loved!

An NDE and me, or, Jim slips into the Twighlight Zone

I saw this video yesterday and was glued to the screen for the whole 30 minutes.

Now that may sound a little odd for many of you simply because its just another Near Death Experience story, and we all have various opinions about them. I've seen many of these stories, but this hit me big time.




So here's what stunned me...

I've always had a deep impression of what God is like - who we are and how it all fits together. I've tried to squash it into christianity all my life - to make it fit as best I can. It probably came from my spiritual experience when I was 15 (I cover all that in my book), that I could never put into words.

Over the years my deepest experiences with God were far bigger and more expansive than any christian or general religious beliefs. But I would get stuck with the christian paradigm and think I was just deluded or something and shelve it all.

The last few years have seen a reawakening of all this as I've strived for integrity in my journey. So what's that got to do with the video, I hear you ask? Just about everything this guy experienced is what I've experienced. Not in the same level of "reality" that he has, but as a shadow, or a knowing - as thoughts and concepts that gurgle through my mind. Snippets of greater things that are just out of reach. As I heard him talking about his experience I thought "he's been inside my head!!".

OK, I'm probably being too cosmic or whatever (too many drugs in the 70s?), and I've probably lost all credibility with most of you by now, but I have to be honest about this stuff. I have no agenda and no reason to make this stuff up. It's all kind of freaky on one hand, but beautiful and affirming on the other.

For those of you who have followed my ramblings for a while you may already see the association with what he says and a lot of what I vainly try to express.

Anyway, I'm inspired and excited. Maybe we are both whako? Who knows! But I feel a huge relief and peace about my own journey after seeing this. It feels like I have permission to follow my heart with a new level of honesty and integrity.

God is Love, Love is God, we are God, yet we are ourselves.
Live Loved!

Mansionland (a short story)

The land was expansive. Really expansive. I’m not really sure you could say it had a horizon, although it did, sort of. It faded away into immeasurable distance, and I mean a really, really immeasurable distance. Well that’s how it seemed.

But that was just one aspect, although I must admit a rather impressive one.

There was light. You know, just like in the movies and C.S. Lewis books, and near death experiences. That sort of light. But you breathed the light and it felt like air in a light sort of way.

Anyway, this place was awesome, in an over awesome way that transcended the awesomeness of any other awesome thing you could think of. So really, I don’t think I’ll bother even trying to allegorise it, let alone metaphorise it. Let’s just say it’s beyond metaphor, or language.

So there’s this place and I’m looking around, and there’s these huge mansions scattered around. Quite a few of them really, spread out way into the fading horizon that isn’t really a horizon.

There’s a lot of space between them all though, forests and gardens, beauty that’s disorganised in a non-minimalist crazy person kind of way. Wild but knowable, untamed but playable.

The whole place, the land, whatever it is, was complete. Nothing could conceivably or inconceivably be added or taken away. You just knew that the entirety of ‘all that is” is here, visible or hidden, searchable for sure, maybe not findable, but there none the less.

So yeah, it was just the other day, or maybe it was tomorrow, or did I dream it, or will I dream it in another life? Anyway, there I was, smacking my gob at this place and wondering about the mansions. So I set off to the closest one.

Not sure how long it took, maybe an hour or a week. Just can’t tell in this place.

As I approached I could see this mansion was huge, really huge! But it looked really strange. Despite the obvious ostentatiousness of the place it was really a hodgepodge of add-ons and extensions. So much so that I had no idea what the original might have looked like. The windows were boarded up, which I though was rather strange given how incredible the view was – and who the heck would want to block out this light?

So as I approached I met a couple of people wandering around outside in these outrageous suits – like diving suits. You know, all sealed up with air tubes going back to the mansion and an airtight helmet with tinted glass so I couldn’t really see their faces, and we had to shout at each other to be heard. It was really, really weird. Maybe they all had some medical condition?

Never the less, they invited me in.

The front door was very impressive indeed with very ornate symbolism in the carvings and pictures all over it. But instead of the whole door opening to welcome strangers, there was just a little door down one side – just like those big warehouse doors have a little one so they don’t have to open the whole thing all the time.

We quickly entered and slammed the door shut behind us while they took off their suits in the rather comparatively dim light.

Together they welcomed me to the “Mansion of Light”.

OK… it was rather dingy, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt.

I was then given a map of all the places to see, in the correct order with the correct viewing times and who would be leading the viewing sessions and their qualifications, along with all the correct protocols to follow.

They wanted to personally take me around to make sure I got it right, but I hate guided tours - you know how it is – you never get the time to really find out the whole story. It was a battle but I assured them I’d be fine and follow all the protocols, sheesh!

Of course I didn’t have any intention of following boring tourist guides and protocols so I set off exploring the moment they were out of sight.

All the boarded up windows were a puzzle, seeing as they had to rely on artificial light all the time and some corners, and even whole rooms, were really hard to see into.

As I went around the rooms I found endless groups of people mostly discussing what the land outside was like and the best ways to get around out there. Other groups were saying outside was a dangerous place and best not to venture out unless properly prepared, and proceeded to debate the best methods of protection. Many seemed to think that outside was actually evil and we shouldn’t even entertain the idea of going out there.

There were so many rooms some big, some small, some huge auditoriums, some little studies, but all with people discussing/debating/arguing, or just being told, how to deal with outside, or even if they should deal with outside in the first place. It was so confusing, even though each room seemed to basically agree amongst themselves.

Every so often though, I’d see someone sneak out and into another room, as if nothing had happened. But as I was going down one particular corridor, a whole heap of people suddenly ran out of one room down the hall and into an empty room, shouting wildly about the colour of the walls. Truly perplexing!

I began to wonder where I’d be if I’d taken the guided tour!

After a while I bumped into a quiet sort of guy walking slowly through a pillared gallery where some of the windows weren’t quite so well boarded up, and cracks let through small rays of light that shone on parts of some of the paintings and sculptures.

Thinking he might throw some light (as it were) on what the heck was going on this place, I straight out asked why the windows were boarded up?

He looked at me with a strange expression, as if I was either an idiot, or maybe it was a trick question and he was waiting for the other half of my question so it would make sense. After a few moments where he seemed to be trying to process the obvious absurdity of my question, he started on quite a long and eloquent discourse.

Around 5 minutes later he stopped to see if I was following, but alas, I couldn’t follow a single thing he was saying. It all seemed to do with ancient prophecies and traditions, and the elders of the ancient days who spoke of strange powers and beings and who knows what. I just wanted a simple answer as to why they didn’t like the light.

As he began his dissertation again I casually wandered over to a nearby window that was letting in a ray of light and went to look through the crack.

Well, what a commotion! He stopped in horror and began a tirade about respecting the light and having to wear special glasses, and you had to spend hours in preparation or be one of the elite before you could even glimpse outside.

This place was really beginning to creep me out. So I excused myself with many apologies and headed off for the stairs to see if I could quietly find some light and fresh air. After a while of wandering and working my way up, I found what seemed like a rather little used hall leading to a stair case that almost certainly went to the roof or a balcony, judging by number of flights I’d come up and the general layout as best I could figure it. As I reached the top of the stairs and began to look for a door outside, a very old guy suddenly threw open a door and light streamed in behind him creating a silhouette. He had been outside obviously, but was keen to come back in. He hesitated when he saw me and looked around, perhaps to see if I was alone.

He obviously didn’t know quite how to deal with my presence and stood there with the door half open, until he decided to ask what I was doing. I honestly stated I’d like some light and fresh air as it was getting rather oppressive inside.

Again he looked around and asked if I knew what it was really like out there. Well, of course I knew, although after being in this place for what seemed like ages, I was beginning to wonder if I did. All the confusion and different ideas that really didn’t make much sense to anyone who had actually been outside, were beginning to take their toll on me.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. I saw in the silhouette of his face that he was wearing dark glasses, but he wasn’t in the suits that others wore outside. It all seemed very conspiratorial somehow, but never the less he seemed to think I was an ally of some sort who was in the know.

He reached into his coat and pulled out another pair of glasses, saying I’d need them before going out. I could see it was bright outside but not harsh or glaring, still, I put them on just to humour him.

We quickly stepped out on to the roof and I was hit by the incredible view. Simply amazing. But the stupid glasses made everything look dull and all the colours were wrong, and I couldn’t even see clearly into the distance. I guess it was my previous experience of the land which allowed me to appreciate it still. I put my hand up to take off the glasses but he jumped in horror when he realised what I was doing and knocked my hand out of the way, declaring me insane.

I stopped and decided to humour him. He was shaken but turned to look out with me. After a few seconds I pointed to another mansion some way off and asked who lived there.

He turned slowly and seemed to be struggling with my question. He then started a discourse, not unlike the other guy downstairs, about the ancients and traditions and evil forces and battles and who knows what, until after a few minutes I gave up trying to follow him.

This was all too much really. I politely interrupted him and said I couldn’t really follow him, but that was OK, I was just curious. I thanked him anyway and as I could see a staircase that wound its way down the outside of the building, I said I’ll just go and see them myself and took of the glasses to give back to him.

That was obviously a huge mistake. Apparently it was inconceivable that anyone could/should/would even think about doing that! He then preceded to pontificate in a strange voice about the curses of the ancients and the dangers of venturing out on my own and being blinded and deceived by the light because the nature of the land apparently could only be correctly discerned with their glasses.

It started to get rather ugly, and even though I apologised for any offense, and tried to reassure him that I was fine because the light was actually a lot better without the glasses and I just wanted to meet the other people and hear their story, he just got more worked up.

Oh well, I smiled anyway and quickly went down the stairs. I could still hear him shouting from the roof as I walked on to the grass and out into the wild/tame gardens towards the other mansion. He wasn’t making any sense at all by that stage and his abuse faded into the breeze as I breathed in the light and lost myself….

Good christianity?

Sorry folks, been neglecting the old blog lately, mostly because of  trying to publish my book, which I hope you are all cuing up to buy a copy as we speak!

Been a lot of stuff buzzing around my brain cell, but I shall briefly mention my most recent thoughts.

I blogged a while back about why Christianity works, which is kind of a strange statement, especially if you have left the confines of christian dogma. Despite my own theological/spiritual views these days, I'm learning to look at the inherent value of religious traditions and belief systems.

I still battle with the damage that church has inflicted on me. Just when I think its OK, I find myself reacting to things people say, cliches and christianese, religious dogma and bigotry. Still got a way to go!

But I've been trying to respect the faith that kept me going all my life in terms of what it is that makes it "work". I'm not talking about the correct doctrines and whether or not the bible is God's written word or Jesus was actually God incarnate etc. No, I'm talking about why it fills a need so effectively and can bring real life changing benefits, peace and joy to people.

It seems that whatever language and theology we build around it, there are spiritual principles that are just the way the universe is. Christianity provides a way of accessing and utilising these principles, often very effectively. What are these principles? Well, that's something I'm (and millions of others) are slowly coming to terms with.

There are things like the Law of Attraction, Positive Affirmation, Karma (and lots of dreaded "new age" stuff, lol) and even things that quantum physics is revealing, that seem to be at the deepest level of all we are. Of course, its all open to dispute, but the door is open, people are seeing a far bigger universe than any one religion has ever offered. Christianity has become just one aspect of universal spirituality.

Most fundamental/traditional christians will say that everything else is deception and lies created by the devil to deceive us from the truth, that Jesus alone is the way. I know, I used to be one of the most adamant about it! I could define everything in terms of Jesus being the only truth and everything else a lie, and because the devil was so good at creating this deception, it meant that there was nothing anyone could say to convince me otherwise.

Fortunately there were cracks in the system that started to be prized open by discovering the depth of grace - the revelation of God's unconditional love that has now become the "grace movement". But even that has just been a stepping stone for many people, although for most they are happy to stay with that revelation, and once again fall into the trap of everything else being lies and deception.

But despite all that, there are universal principles. Prayer for example. People focusing and meditating, speaking love and blessing, calling things that "aren't as if they are" through a deep faith in that process, brings results, whether its christian or not. There is a law/principle/whatever at work that goes beyond christian doctrine.

Then there is the central aspect of Jesus and all that he stands for - his words and actions, his own beliefs and passions - all that we ascribe to him - that provides a point of deep universal identification with humanity and spirituality. There's something for everyone!

Its a huge subject, and I may keep throwing around ideas and digging deeper as part of another book!

I totally understand wanting to completely ditch christianity, especially after seeing the gaping holes of logic, reason, morality and ethics that are obvious to anyone outside of that paradigm. And I totally understand the pain and distress so many have suffered under the abuse of churches and religion. I really get that.

But I'm learning to respect what much of christianity DOES get right, and how effective it can be in bringing life and love. I will continue to tear apart religion that doesn't bring life - religion that is nothing more than a license for bigotry, hate and abuse. There is a lot of evil in the church, and the institution is past it's use-by date, but the spirit of Jesus and all he stood for can and does bring life and love.

And of course, in the end, all that matters is living loved!

My Scooter

Not my scooter - but closish

(a true story)

I had a scooter when I was a kid. Not one of those little things they have these days. Nope, this was the 60s. I had a blue and white super deluxe scooter with big pump up tyres and white rubber hand grips. It was fast and smooth. It could handle the rough, but best of all was the speed.

We lived near the bottom of a long gentle hill, and as I slowly gained more confidence, I would go further up the hill to get that extra bit of speed. Stopping was a challenge, even though it had good brakes, but you could never be too careful!

Off I’d go down the footpath, oblivious to the thought of people coming out of drives and old ladies with walking frames or the postman. When it was quiet however, I’d go straight down the middle of the road.

Finally I worked my way to the top of the hill but still I needed more speed. My ultimate technique involved crouching down to minimize drag, and I was always oiling everything to get that last little boost as well.

Of course, it wasn’t without its risks, and there were many grazed arms and knees, but I was never daunted. It was my scooter – it was perfect.

I’d scoff at other scooters and prided myself on how fast I could go. And yet, in the back of my mind I knew bikes were even faster. My older brother had a bike, but I ignored it completely – stupid looking thing with skinny tires and you were right up in the air, not close to the road like my scooter.

I did try the bike once, but it was terrible! All wobbly and just not right at all. No, bike riders were stupid. Scooters ruled!

For some reason I never allowed myself to think that bikes were actually far more useful. So much so that I would rather walk than make the transition. Eventually though, after pushing it too hard for too long with too many accidents, I had to admit defeat and finally realise I had outgrown my precious scooter!

So as soon as I was old enough I got a motor bike and eventually a car, as you do. I mean, scooters are great, don’t get me wrong. When I was little it was my life, my pride and joy, and did everything I needed. But I simply had to admit that there were bigger and better ways of getting around.

My spiritual journey was very similar.

I wanted the best! I wanted truth, wisdom and knowledge. So amidst all the options I choose Christianity.

Christianity had everything I needed! It was slick, with all the answers. I could dig deep into mysteries and get more and more revelations. I could stretch my limits with faith and “ministries”. There was so much to do and strive to be better.

Of course, it wasn’t without its risks, and there were many accidents, causing damage to myself and others. I’d trip up when doctrines didn’t work properly and find another one that did, or patch up the old one with a few different scriptures.

I’d not only scoff at other beliefs, but actually declare them evil – even other Christians who didn’t have my particular polished, high speed, oiled and maintained doctrines, weren’t as good as me.

For some reason I never allowed myself to think that other beliefs were actually far more beneficial – both for me or everyone else! Eventually though, after pushing it too hard for too long with too many accidents I had to admit defeat and finally realise I’d outgrown my precious beliefs.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make Christianity work any more. It finally became a matter of either ignoring all the other options and doggedly limping on, or at least giving these other beliefs a serious look.

Don’t get me wrong, there was nothing wrong with Christianity as such, but like my scooter, it had a limited usefulness – it would only take so much before turning into a liability.

All this may sound a little patronising to a lot of Christians. I would have thought it was when I was still oiling the wheels and going further up the hill to get more speed. I would have vilified anyone who thought I would outgrow such an amazing belief system.

But outgrow it I did. I still appreciate all that I’ve learned. It’s opened up the enormity of God to me and set me on a far longer and fascinating path. But I grew too much for it to contain me. Like my scooter that is way too small for me now, Christianity is too small to be of much value.

Like I said though, nothing basically wrong with it, and at the time it was extremely valuable – and still is in many ways. “Are you still a christian then?” I hear you ask? Well, I could still ride my scooter if I wanted too, but why would I?
I’ve grown to see its purpose for some people as part of their journey, even if it’s prone to abuse as all religious systems are. Some kids trash their scooters, run over people’s toes, smash into old ladies’ shopping trollies and wreak havoc!

So, sorry if you feel like I’ve been patronising and thinking I’m better in some way. Far from it! I finally feel like I’ve just started my journey, with a new level of respect for all mankind and all our uniqueness and an experience of love that christianity could never offer.

And I’ve even come to realise that some people bypass the scooter stage completely!

The Project!!

Most of you may have heard about my Silent Gays website and some of you may even be following the Silent Gays Facebook page - thanks so much if you are (*hugs*).

So its time to explain the big picture, because I'd love to have as many people on board as possible. I'm passionate about this and feel there is a huge need to be met! So here's the (drum roll):

Silent Gays Project (trumpets, applause, screaming adulation...)

The Silent Gays website is the central location for resources and general info. Silent Gays Facebook is where the action happens - the latest news, articles, inspiration etc.

Here's where it gets interesting - I want to facilitate and inspire "silent gays" everywhere to get together, to talk and love and support and inspire and cry and believe in each other and BE God's love to this world.

I've started a "secret" Facebook group (Gaylent Sighs) as a safe, private place for people to share their hearts in a loving and safe environment. Its also a place where people can organise small group get-togethers.

These groups will be around 6 people max, in "public" places - cafes, bars etc - so there is no hint of anything religious or "churchy" (home groups can be intimidating and triggering for a lot of people).
The basic premises for the groups are:

• The meetings are NOT to be counseling sessions. Everyone attending is on equal ground, the goal being to listen to each other’s hearts, discuss problems, share burdens and explore religious assumptions and paradigms that underlie the issues.
• Every person’s spiritual journey must be respected. The process of dismantling religion to find spiritual and personal integrity can be a long difficult process. The group’s purpose is to support each other on that journey while exploring and challenging traditions and religious assumptions.
• The Gaylent Sighs Facebook group is the central focus for meetings. People can look for others in their area in the group and discuss issues, share their concerns, ask for advice etc.
• This isn’t a dating service! Although relationships can start anywhere, we must be respectful of everyone’s emotional state and vulnerability.

My book, Its Life Jim... will be an integral part of the project as it will hopefully inspire people to be real, ask the hard questions and not be afraid of the answers.

Of course, I need MONEY to help it along, so I have a GoFundMe campaign set up raking in the filthy lucre for my spurious project. Please feel obliged to give me as much as you can!!

Seriously though, I do need some descent backing to get the marketing running on a serious level as well as enough to cover a first print run of books (around $1000 to kick off).

I'm so grateful to everyone who has supported and encouraged me this far. Lets get this thing on the road!!

The Theory of Everything Part 4

Over the years I wrote some blogs on my theory of everything (parts 1 to 3 obviously). Its a couple of years since the last one so I thought it might be fun to sift through my current views on this subject.

I'm one of those unfortunates who wants to know everything, right now! Anyway, that's not going to happen any time soon so I have to settle for wild guesses and assumptions based on the ponderings of other crazy people and scientists and philosophers.

If you've kept up with my blogs over the last
few years, you'll see a very pronounced departing from traditional christianity, wrestling with the most foundational issues such as the relevance of the bible, who Jesus really was, the nature of God - you know the sort of thing, nothing major.

One area that I've been quietly looking at for some time now is the link between science and spirituality, especially in the area of quantum physics - a subject that is guaranteed to completely scramble and fry any unsuspecting brain cells you may have left unatended.

The most astonishing thing is that the physics side of this isn't the made up ramblings of some wild eyed, mad scientist. It's established, accepted, everyday quantum physics that people with enormous brains discuss over breakfast.

Here's my take on things so far. I'll try to keep it as simple as possible, which is all I can do anyway. I'll also assume that I haven't completely misunderstood the scientific concepts.

Quantum physics states that everything in our universe, when we take it down to its most fundamental (quantum) level, consists of nothing more than strings of vibrating energy. These strings vibrate at certain frequencies and combine in resonance with others to assemble into higher level particles, which in turn assemble into more complex structures, becoming atoms and so on up the scale - from micro to macro.

So in reality we are nothing more than vibrating energy. That's very simplistic when we consider how many gazillions of atoms we are made of, let alone how many quantum particles and "strings". Just as astounding is that the relative distance between these particles (at the quantum level) is huge, meaning that an atom for example is actually about 99% nothing!

A real picture of a hydrogen atom!

But here's the thing - at the quantum level, physics as we understand it, totally changes. Time and space don't behave the same at all. Particles can exist in multiple places simultaneously, they can affect each other no matter where they are in the universe. Did you know that electrons whizzing around the nucleus of an atom keep changing their orbit? But they don't move to a new orbit, they simply disappear and reappear in the new orbit instantaneously - teleport as it were (*looks perplexed and scratches head)! Its the stuff of Sci Fi, except its for real.

If all that wasn't enough, there is a growing school of thought that the physical universe is actually a construct of our combined consciousness and doesn't exist at all in the way we think it does, and there's some freaky dudes that have a lot of maths to support the idea!

So what does this have to do with God and spirituality? Apparently, at an even deeper level, some theoretical physicists (who have been search for the "unified field theory" - the thing that generates the strings of energy in the first place and is the fundamental cause of everything), are thinking that the unified field is actually universal consciousness - thus producing a cross over into spirituality that has a "scientific" basis.


This may all seem a but far fetched but I'm mulling over these things and watching mind numbing videos about quantum physics, and thinking about the universal nature of God being love and the source and sustainer of everything. We are simply small expressions of God, made of the same stuff and part of each other in the same way. The energy we are made of vibrates in harmony with all other energy, but our level of consciousness allows us to interact in ways that can enhance or destroy that synchronisation with God and the rest of the universe.


We can then put those ideas into "religious" language to produce a set of meaningful psychological, sociological and spiritual tools to provide purpose, health, peace, joy etc to life as we know it. It seems every religion has scattered through its beliefs and doctrines, recognition of these basic "fundamentals", although some religious constructs can be more damaging than helpful.

I'm still chewing over the emotional and "heart" side of the whole thing, but I can see plenty of scope in this to cover just about everything really. 



So, umm, yeah - the Theory of Everything? How the hell should I know?? This sounds pretty good for now!

Not Knowing

Silly picture - no reason!

As you all may, or may not know, I use this blog to publicly process my thoughts and passions, to present them in a way that, in one sense, provides me with some accountability, and a safeguard for my sanity (not that its worked that well).

I also hope that in presenting these things in a very vulnerable way, others may also be inspired to think and feel like they "have permission" to explore, question, embrace radical ideas and, just as quickly, move on.

I guess I want everyone to embrace the "journey" they are on and to recognise paradigms, assumptions and dogmas (in whatever form they may take), and experience the joy and pain of real growth.

I'm an idealist.

I imagine a world where everyone will be free to express their hearts, in the knowledge that they will be heard without condemnation. And at the same time I imagine everyone would be open enough to understand that they could be wrong, that we could all be wrong, or we could all be right. Or better still, we are probably sometimes right and sometimes wrong. Or perhaps even our understanding of right and wrong is wrong - or right.

I dream of people willing to think for themselves with personal integrity, respect, and most importantly, to recognise our intrinsic need for love, and let that be our motivation.

But I also hate the thing that I think upset Jesus the most:

Not "legalism", although that was certainly part of it.
Not "religion", although he certainly got pissed off with empty rituals.
Not "money", although he saw the damage it could do.
Not "sin", although its a foundational doctrine.

No, I see him absolutely livid with the Pharisees, not because of any of the above (which were symptoms), but because they thought they had it all sussed. They thought they had the monopoly on truth. They alone knew the heart of God and they alone had the right to dispense this knowledge.

They had created God in their own image.

This process isn't unique to the Judeo/christian system. Its present to some degree in all people as we struggle to control life around us. Jesus challenged everyone to think outside that box. He spoke in parables to make us think, to ask questions, never assume anything, hate blind religion and control, confront injustice and embrace love. He exposed the narrow bigotry of closed religious systems with explosive confrontation, he exposed the hearts of those who thought they had all the answers.

He kicked down the doors and showed us the incredible expanse of our union/unity/oneness with God that is the beginning of our journey. A journey that is totally unique for each of us. A journey that must only be defined by integrity and love, and all that entails.

Its absolutely OK to "not know". In fact, its the very thing that keeps us humble. So I will continue to sprout my rubbish, which sounds amazing to me! And I certainly love it when you all agree with me and click Like. But really, I just want people to use every faculty we have been created with to find their own journey and do everything they can to help others on their journey.

Crises of Faith

The last few years have seen a massive amount of change in my life, not the least of which has been what some might call a "crisis of faith".

If you've kept up with my blogs through this time you can understand some of this process.

When I look back at my entire life journey (which, of course, I'm covering in my absolutely fabulously, stunning and riveting autobiography - coming soon!) there have been many "crises of faith". They have all centred around either my sexual identity or the validity of my spiritual experience in relation to traditional christianity.

In the last 3 years I've finally had the freedom to give as much time and thought to these things as I've needed. This has led to allowing my heart to fully express it's doubts, conflicts, hypocrisy, assumptions and paradigms with no guilt or shame - an absolute freedom to use every faculty God has given me, to think, reason, discuss, and discard,  instead of going with the status quo.

I've always wrestled with the idea that I simply think too much and am not prepared to accept and walk in faith with all the beliefs and doctrines of traditional christianity. So most of the time I put stuff in the too hard basket and left it there, quietly smoldering - for over 40 years.

But now, every aspect of what I (mostly) believed has been unraveled, exposed, questioned, analysed and had the glaring light of integrity and honesty thrown on it.

Basically, christianity doesn't come up to the mark. Its so full of holes in logic, morality, common sense and history that to think its actually plausible is borderline insanity.

However!

If we strip away the horrific absurdities of the Old Testament God: legalism, vengeance, hatred, genocide, misogyny, racism, slavery - you name it, we are left with the basics of what Jesus taught. The writings of Paul, a lot of the time, talk about Jesus providing a way for acceptance, peace, love and joy - for a way to experience love that doesn't depend on us but rather puts the whole onus on God to look after us. Psychologically this works amazingly well, when we consider how many of us desperately need to experience an internalised form of love that comes from an external source because we are incapable of finding that love within us.

So I see the incredible value of the basic tenets of christianity, and if it wasn't for my own belief in them, I would be dead by now - long gone, swallowed by suicidal depression.

But its only a cheap imitation of the vastness, the incredible peace and joy, the experience of love beyond expression, of what awaits us when we break out of that tiny box of religion. Its not just christianity, I talk about that because its the only religion that I've embraced. But all religions face the same dilemma - they have a dogmatic set of paradigms that define "truth", expressed in sacred writings, that severely limit us from experiencing our real identity, and God's real identity and character.

I've said a few times lately that I've had it with christian fundamentalism. But its more than that. I can no longer, in all integrity, embrace any religion as THE truth. To even think that any one religion could possible be the only way to God is the height of ignorance and arrogance.

I can relate and identify with the security people find in various religions, and don't have a problem as such, as long as the fruit of those beliefs are love, joy and peace (mostly love). But lack of integrity is something I really struggle with, and it almost physically hurts me to see people blinded by dogma, and simply refusing to open their hearts to see the bigger reality. I guess fear plays a big part, because the small world of christianity, or any religion, provides a depth of security that is really hard to ignore and let go. But it is only fear, produced by controlling and confining dogma, that stops us from being willing to take that step into the unknown.

I can no longer describe, with any certainty who or what God is, but I do know that I, and all of us are one with him/her, completely infused with God through every atom of our being. I am an expression of God as we all are, and the only road to growth is allowing that unity and expression to "change our minds", to open our eyes to who we really are, and that is mind blowingly awesome.

I've probably burnt my bridges with the last of my traditional christian friends by saying all this. But if their friendship and love is based on acceptance of religious beliefs, then that love is a shallow illusion anyway.