God is my strength?

Heeeelp! Gurgle gurgle...

This is a statement that is common to just about all christians. When times get tough and we don't have the strength to carry on or are struggling, in some way, to meet the demands of life, we turn to God for strength, claiming that He IS our strength.

So what does that actually mean? It seems that most of us can give some bible verses to back it up, but really, what the heck does it actually mean, in practical, hands on reality?

In fact, it goes deeper than this.

I have many christian friends who have reached a crisis or are going through hard times in terms of trying to understand how God's "direction" and leading in life works - how he guides us through the crap, and what the heck is really going on.

There may well be two separate issues here - acquiring His strength, and living in His will - but I see some commonality. We are taught in the church, by traditional understandings and doctrines, that when good things happen we are blessed and when bad things happen, well, we aren't so blessed - perhaps even "out of God's will" (whatever that means) or are even under a curse! This complicates matters somewhat because if we ask for his strength to get through bad/dark times does that mean we can't expect help if we are being cursed or aren't "in His will" or have been particularly sinful?

Again, I'm sure we all know scriptures to throw at this dilemma, but they don't confront the actual reality. Shit happens, and we want help to understand it and get through it unscathed. We don't want to suffer and we don't want to be out of favour with God, just in case that's the cause of our suffering.

I hold the bible a lot more loosely these days, so even though I think its an amazing book and holds incredible life giving truths, it's inconceivable that it holds all truth for everyone ever created for all time. So I look for bigger answers - yes BIGGER. Bear with me.

If we take a step back and look at what people everywhere go through, its obvious that we all go through good times and crap no matter who we are or what we believe. There is no rhyme or reason to the distribution of good and bad no matter how we try to dress it up. It just plain happens.

Perhaps the issue then is not what happens, but what we do about it? The whole concept of being blessed by God is astoundingly simple minded (not the same as childlike) and flies in the face of everything around us. Its an attempt to live by legalistic formulas to make life tidy and predictable.

We claim God's strength, and then try to figure out what we are doing wrong so that we can adjust things, get out of the curses we bring on ourselves, and move into His blessings. Many of us turn ourselves inside out wondering what we've done wrong. Sure we know God is loving and faithful to forgive, but we get obsessed with the consequences of bad decisions, fearful that nothing will change or get better.

So in reality the picture is pretty bleak if we are honest within the limitations of traditional christian beliefs- we go through crap, looking for meaning, and wanting strength to carry on so we don't get into the crap again.

STOP THE CYCLE!

Back up! Like I said and we all really know - shit happens! It just does. "It rains on the just and the unjust". So when we pray for strength, what are we really wanting/needing?
LOVE! Doh!
We just want, and need, to be loved. If we experience love we can not only get through anything, but come out the other end better for it! Sure it may not make the situation any easier, but love changes US, not the situation (usually, sometimes it can change both).

To know we are loved in the worst of situations brings peace and reassurance. So when we cry out for Gods strength we are crying out for love.

Million dollar question!! - how do we get this love??

Its already here. God is one with us, intrinsically part of us in every way, holding us together. He is the love that unites and binds all energy and life. He IS. We have all we need and will ever get - every single person ever created is part of God whether we know it or not. And that's the problem - knowing it.

We must repent, (oh ye sinners! lol!) because repenting simply means changing your mind, no great self abasement (although you can feel remorse if you want, sometimes that's a good thing).
So we change our minds about being one with love.
We change our minds about anything to do with blessings and curses, about being in His will, or being sinful. We change our minds about God dishing out blessings for random reasons.
We change our minds about God being external to us in any way.
We change our minds about who we actually are.
We change our minds about struggling to be anointed and holy.
In fact, we change our minds regarding just about all doctrines that man has invented.

We, and God, are one. That's it. Everything we do is "his will" because we are one.
We are loved, because He is love, and we are one.
We ARE a little piece of God - it can be no other way. Am I saying we are God? Gasp!!!!
In a way, yes! God is all in all. We are part of "all", we are part of God.

Back to the topic.

The strength we need is US! Its in us already. We are part of the strength. We are part of the solution. God doesn't arbitrarily help some and not others based on how much they cry out and sweat and struggle. We are it. We are love. We are one.

Repent - change your mind!

Not Knowing

Silly picture - no reason!

As you all may, or may not know, I use this blog to publicly process my thoughts and passions, to present them in a way that, in one sense, provides me with some accountability, and a safeguard for my sanity (not that its worked that well).

I also hope that in presenting these things in a very vulnerable way, others may also be inspired to think and feel like they "have permission" to explore, question, embrace radical ideas and, just as quickly, move on.

I guess I want everyone to embrace the "journey" they are on and to recognise paradigms, assumptions and dogmas (in whatever form they may take), and experience the joy and pain of real growth.

I'm an idealist.

I imagine a world where everyone will be free to express their hearts, in the knowledge that they will be heard without condemnation. And at the same time I imagine everyone would be open enough to understand that they could be wrong, that we could all be wrong, or we could all be right. Or better still, we are probably sometimes right and sometimes wrong. Or perhaps even our understanding of right and wrong is wrong - or right.

I dream of people willing to think for themselves with personal integrity, respect, and most importantly, to recognise our intrinsic need for love, and let that be our motivation.

But I also hate the thing that I think upset Jesus the most:

Not "legalism", although that was certainly part of it.
Not "religion", although he certainly got pissed off with empty rituals.
Not "money", although he saw the damage it could do.
Not "sin", although its a foundational doctrine.

No, I see him absolutely livid with the Pharisees, not because of any of the above (which were symptoms), but because they thought they had it all sussed. They thought they had the monopoly on truth. They alone knew the heart of God and they alone had the right to dispense this knowledge.

They had created God in their own image.

This process isn't unique to the Judeo/christian system. Its present to some degree in all people as we struggle to control life around us. Jesus challenged everyone to think outside that box. He spoke in parables to make us think, to ask questions, never assume anything, hate blind religion and control, confront injustice and embrace love. He exposed the narrow bigotry of closed religious systems with explosive confrontation, he exposed the hearts of those who thought they had all the answers.

He kicked down the doors and showed us the incredible expanse of our union/unity/oneness with God that is the beginning of our journey. A journey that is totally unique for each of us. A journey that must only be defined by integrity and love, and all that entails.

Its absolutely OK to "not know". In fact, its the very thing that keeps us humble. So I will continue to sprout my rubbish, which sounds amazing to me! And I certainly love it when you all agree with me and click Like. But really, I just want people to use every faculty we have been created with to find their own journey and do everything they can to help others on their journey.

The Gay Thing

I've had a rough couple of days.

The World Vision US stand has caused a huge ripple through christendom and has created something of a division. Its almost as if the lines are being drawn and all out war is about to ensue.

I've experienced first hand, the wrath of conservatives over anything pro gay. I've tried to engage in reasonable discussions and look at things a little more objectively. I've been passionate, patient, forceful and downright abusive at times.

Its taken its toll, especially after the last one today who glibly informed me (after I had shared my heart with as much integrity as I know) that my entire life was a farce, a fraud, and I was deluded and full of bull shit.

So here I am sharing some of that pain, and realising that fundamentalist christianity is possibly one of the most evil cults this world has seen.

I have been stunned by the level of blind arrogance and pig headed dogma these people display. Sure I've had run ins with religion most of my life, more so lately. But the "gay issue" is bringing the redneck spirit out of the woodwork for all to see.

The thing is, I'm not sure that christianity as such, has much to do with it, except that it provides an effective cover for personal agendas. These people have found a religious system that supports their personal biases and bigotries, and a book that can be manipulated to support whatever they see fit.

I'm feeling reactionary after all this, but its been stirring for a long time. I hate religion! Yeah, most of us do, but I mean christian religion in all its forms. I mean the traditional evangelical type of christianity. I mean 90% of all churches and the doctrines they preach. I mean those christian books you find in christian shops and christian music they sell in christian concerts and christian conferences full of christians trying to be more christian.

It makes me sick.

At least Islam doesn't beat around the bush, you know where you stand! But evangelical christianity is a snake of subtle deception waiting to suck the life out of you, under the guise of making you a better person. I know there are millions of sincere people in that system who care and love as best they can, so I'm not dissing them.

I'm talking about every doctrine and ideal, theological assumption, traditions, structures, methodologies, all of it. I hate it. Really I do.

I go to a little gay friendly Anglican church every so often. Wonderful loving people. But the service sends me spare! The doctrines they spew out make me cringe. I have to drag myself there and suffer through it all just to spend some time with these beautiful people! What a rip off!

Yeah, maybe I've lost it. Maybe I'm throwing the baby out with the bathwater, but I don't really care any more. The small amount of real life left in those places isn't enough for me to endorse in any form.

Here's the strange thing though. I can understand and relate to people stuck in that system. I can communicate on that level, and I love the people, I really do! It doesn't worry me where they are or what they believe, I just want to show people the love God has shown me.

But I HATE the traditional church, fundamentalist christianity, religion in all its forms, biblical literalism, bibliolatry, hypocrisy. I loath all the Israel rubbish, prophetic end times gibberish, glory gold dust and gems, healing crusades, worship gatherings... it all makes me want to vomit.

I'm done with it all. Its time to move on and be the real human/spirit that I am.
One with God.

I am.

Further up and further in

The days of grace, shine like new stars
Gasping in silent awe
The rush of revelation, the new peace
Slipping into memory foam padding
Like an astronaut pressed hard and helpless
Breaking free from gravity

The deep processes of neuron fires
Burning new paths
Further up and further in

Embrace of love
Embrace of death
Embrace of life
I didn't know that I didn't know
I love that I don't know
I hate that I don't know
I reluctantly show, I was wrong
I gladly show, its bigger, oh so bigger

The deep changes keep changing
Churning
The deep love keeps burning
The words fade and the passions ignite

The deep processes of neuron fires
Burning new paths
Further up and further in

There's a wolf out there...

~ Jeff Turner

There's a wolf out there, masquerading as both a sheep and a Shepherd; a wolf ho thirsts for the life blood of the saints; a beast who takes pleasure in watching the sons of God shaking in their boots in fear that something as benign as enjoying life will land them in Gehenna. 

He relishes in beholding us pockmarked with depression, fear, sleepless nights and joyless prayers, all because we cannot rightly see who the Father is. 

He sits in the front row of most Evangelical churches, howling 'Amen' each and every time the 'preacher' spews forth curses, and law and legalistic gibberish. 

He loves to watch the little children terrified as the preacher waxes disgustingly eloquent about God's bestial house of horrors in the underworld. 

He cheers as we trumpet a gloomy, hopeless last days message that causes sons and daughters with great potential to expect little more than hell on earth in the days to come. 

He loves watching artists and authors, poets and playwrights, movie producers and musicians shipped off to Bible colleges, only to be stripped of their callings and individuality, and instead turned into mindless, unthinking, soulless, plastic preachers. 

He loves watching dysfunctional people perpetuating the myth of a dysfunctional deity who's only interested in us sharing in his dysfunction! 

He loves it all! Why? Because all of it is designed to make you miserable; to drain the color from your eyes and suck the joy and wonder of living right out of your soul. This tyrannical monster is not to be tolerated, debated with, and certainly not accepted as a brother. 

Enough is enough. Down with the fuhrer and his anti-gospel gestapo. It's time for a Gospel revolution that shakes this monster to it's foundations! It's time for a reformation that brings the whole ungodly structure down into it's own footprint! It's time for the life, liberty and love of the Godhead to be screamed from every rooftop, street corner and pulpit! This is revolution! Are you on board?