Does God really speak to us?

I saw a short clip from some mega church today, where the preacher was shouting at the people (aka abusing them) saying that God told her that they had no right to question the pastor because they were dumb sheep. They had to obey the pastor's every word no matter what they thought of it.

Yes God told her that.

That's a rather extreme example and I probably don't need to comment on it as such. But the issue really comes down to "God told me".

I always thought I could hear God speaking sometimes in a way that was very clear - not audible, but in a way that cut through the chatter in my head and told me how much he loved me and it would all be OK.

But like so many christians, I became obsessed with "hearing" God speak so that I could be sure that everything I did was His will. I thought every failure in life was because I didn't hear Him, so I was just bumbling along wondering if what I thought was God really was him. And yet, if I had to be honest, the only thing I could say I really "heard" were the words of love and comfort.

This was incredibly frustrating as I was obviously a second class christian. So what about those who claimed God actually told them clearly what to do, where to go, and basically everyday instructions for life?

I ended up doing a little survey amongst my online community about how they "heard" God, without using any religious language or bible verses to describe it. Some couldn't describe it without using christianese, which was rather telling, and most admitted that they felt closest to God through nature/creation and sort of went with what they felt. Once the religious jargon was stripped away, it seems most people just fudge along - except for the few who claimed to actually hear God telling them stuff.

I decided to look a little more objectively at those who claimed that level of communication and look at the fruit of their life and the things they communicated. Without any exceptions, they left a trail of destruction behind them. Broken relationships, gossip, manipulation and control, you name it, they are walking disasters, often with deep seated mental illness hiding behind the religious facade. I found this could be extended through to big name ministries, the so called prophets and apostles, the big time pastors, all who spoke the words of God.

So meanwhile, what's really going on?

I read a lot of stuff about the psychology of this and tried to put it into a spiritual perspective. At our core, we are spiritual beings desperately in need of love. We are created for love, from love, but if we don't recognise it and "get it" we do whatever we can to get whatever resembles it, no matter what it looks like or who else it affects. The more desperate we are for love, the more our hearts and minds will create and manipulate to get it, or whatever they can that helps to numb that need.

Hearing from God falls neatly into that category. I was absolutely desperate to know that God loves me, and perhaps because of my passion for integrity as well, I heard Him telling me how much he loves me, but nothing else. In hindsight, I'm so glad I didn't start to hear more than that!

I've come to the conclusion that what people hear is no more than their own hearts, but shaped and coloured by their paradigms. Paradigms that allow them to expect God to talk to them like the prophets of old claimed. Paradigms that tell them they will be blessed and loved by God if they speak his very words to people. Paradigms that are built on religious assumptions.

So where does that leave us? Personally, I think God does speak to us, but not like that. I look at who he is, in all he has created, and hear his love and peace in that. I "hear" my mind say its OK, I'm loved. I hear my heart speak truths about love, joy, peace, acceptance, because that's what I want to hear.

It comes down to integrity and honesty with ourselves. Are we so desperate that we aren't prepared to stop manipulating God and people so we can see what our hearts really want and need? Those who hear God speaking harsh judgement and damnation - are they just projecting their own fears, subconsciously taking others into their own hell?

I think God is one with us, we are inextricably united, so in a way we can't help but "hear" him, but religion blinds us to the fact that we ARE love and that we already have all we need simply because "I am". If we hear God telling us what to do, where to go, what scriptures to read, what to say to people, we are actually hearing our own desperate hearts, scrambling to find our true identity. When we are honest enough with ourselves to recognise these needs, we begin to see that everything we need is in us - I am! God doesn't speak to us - our heart's fears and desires, coloured by whatever our greatest needs are, speak to us. And if our paradigm is based in christian religion, then the voice of God will sound like that.

In the end I realised I don't need to hear God's voice, simply because "I am", and I'm learning to live loved, and because of that, I hear and see and taste and experience so much more than a mere voice in my head.

The Christian guide to loving gays

I just watched a video of an interview between Steve McVey and an "ex-gay" guy, Willy somebody...

It was really interesting, mostly because of Steve being a "hyper grace" teacher (of course there is no such thing as too much grace and I don't think Steve goes far enough at all, but that's another story).

The gist of Willy's testimony was basically, after being brought up a highly performance orientated christian, who's whole life and acceptance by God was based on how well he behaved, he discovered God's unconditional grace and love and it changed his life and filled him so full of love that he simply lost his need for romantic/sexual relationships with men and now only saw them as brothers. Indeed he now sees people as beyond male or female and loves the spirit.

Now that is something I totally agree with. We should be loving the spirit of every person equally no matter what their sexuality or gender. But there was one huge glaring hole in the interview that was neatly ignored (well a few actually...).

He never mentioned if he still found himself attracted to men at all, or if he was now attracted to women instead, and Steve neglected to ask this. But even more interesting is I can only assume he is now asexual! It seems he has completely decided to ignore and repress
something that is intrinsically part of every human. He (and many others like him) have decided that sex is simply an earthly worldly thing and ultimately, living in God's love exceeds that physical love in every way, thus making it sort of redundant.

I totally get that. I used to think that myself, and in some way still do. I think it really is a mark of spiritual growth to be able to see beyond the sexual.

BUT... God created us as physical sexual beings. We are intrinsically sexual and even the bible has lots of romantic/sexual imagery relating to our relationship to God and each other. Every culture holds romantic sex as something sacred that expresses deep spiritual truths and unites us in deep profound ways. To be asexual really is a rare "gift", if it can even be called a gift. Perhaps for some the journey to deeper spirituality can be hindered by earthly sexuality so they genuinely manage to leave it behind. But the longer I live, the more I see this as a very, very rare thing.

So basically the idea, according to Willy and Steve, is to be gracious and loving to those of us who embrace the sin so that eventually God's love will fill us to the point where we no longer desire it. We don't condone the sin/lifestyle but unconditionally love the person.

There were many comments on the video thread. Everybody had their opinions about how this worked, and of course there was always the assumption that being LGBT is a sin that must be treated like any other. There was even a long discussion by some people about "gayness" being a physical neurological condition, which medical science is supporting now, but then they assumed that it was a physical abnormality that needed healing like any other disease.

But it always comes back to the assumptions that any variation or departure from the "one man - one woman" doctrine is sin. The bible says so and that's it, end of story. That is the root of the issue for christians (and fundies of all persuasions). Its really pointless discussing anything outside of that premise.

The bible, no matter what we think of it, has been the source of more atrocities, hatred, bigotry and evil the world has ever seen. Sure, there are good things in it if you choose to see them (and many have and do), but we still just don't get it. We cannot "live by the bible", it doesn't work, because we will forever twist it to make it say what we want - always - and we are no better now than we were 1000 years ago. We can pull out the nice bits, but we can't even agree on what the nice bits are!!

So all these patronising christians saying we love our LGBT brothers and sisters, and we'll simply pour out God's love and let him sort out their sin - can take a running jump.

Being LGBT is not "sin". All that matters is that we live, with all we are and do, as love. If I have a loving caring relationship with another man, that brings the "fruit" of love to each of us, and everyone around us, then that's all that matters. If anything we do brings love, then keep doing it.

I challenge any christian to explain to me how having a loving, caring romantic/sexual relationship with someone of the same sex is wrong.

Well??

Father vs Lover

This is a tricky subject, and can't say I've ever quite got to the bottom of it. Since letting go of religion and the obsession of assuming the bible is the answer to everything, I've come to some interesting conclusions that work for me - so far!

The concept of God as our father is well grounded in scripture, particularly by Jesus. There's no disputing the image of a perfect father who loves us unconditionally, and will bring every person to the knowledge of their completion in him.

But there is also the concept of God as a lover woven through scripture as well. It's more subtle but is intrinsic to the concept of the "bride of Christ".

These days I don't quote verses to prove a point. I might dig around to get a feel for a subject, but Christ in me is my guide. So here's the thing that has gurgled around the back of my brain for some time. A perfect father is awesome, can't argue with that so I'm not dissing that aspect of God at all. But I am taking it a step further.

I think the idea of the Bride hints at a level of union and oneness with God that goes way beyond any Father/child relationship. Our personal romantic relationships go way deeper than parental ones. There is a softness, romance, mutual adoration and intimacy that supersedes all other relationships. We leave our parental relationships to unite with another person in way that is impossible with our parents.

Even though Jesus talked about his father, and there are things like the prodigal son, which are beautiful metaphors, he hinted at something deeper many times as well - the father and I are one etc.

Paul and John talked a lot more about an intimacy that you would never describe as fatherly. In fact, father implies separation - sure, a loving father who is besotted with his children, but never the less, separate.

Now that we are one with God in every sense, that father/mother model has been outgrown. We are now old enough, as it were, to be lovers. To enter a whole new realm of love. A unity and oneness with all he is and all he has created (and expressed toward each other) that surpasses the need for the type self deprecation we associate with an authority figure (no matter how benign they may be).

The implications of this have been creeping up on me and creating a whole new sense of who God is and how I was created to relate to him. We are equals!! Of course, he is completely "omni" everything and I'm not like him in that sense, but he wants me as an equal, like a lover, no secrets, everything shared, neither lording it over the other. Just a beautiful oneness built on God's initiated passion that has drawn me into his arms.

Dare I also suggest that this surpasses all concepts of gender, God being completely female and completely male, thus completing us on every level no matter what our gender/sexuality is (although this is another huge topic!).

Perhaps the whole concept of lover is really what Jesus meant by "sending the Holy Spirit to live in us". There is a huge realm opening up for me that transcends culture/religion/scripture/tradition and all the bondage those things create, and frees me to to embrace Holy Spirit.

I've always thought that addressing God as Father just never really expressed it right. I'd try Jesus or Spirit or Lord or whatever, but nothing does the job. I'm tempted to call him Lover! No more "Father God I beseech you to pour out your blessings, blah, blah". Now its just "Hey Lover, what are you doing, can I help, or do you just want to hang out, maybe we could make love!!"

Old Testament theology made simple

Okay, this is my summary of years of diligent study, bible college, and countless sermons and books.

The Old Testament was the story of a particular ancient tribe and their impressions of God. It is completely irrelevant for us now except for any gems we can pull from it (sure you can make it about Jesus etc, but so what, means nothing now, and in fact completely distracts us from who we are now).

Jesus came from that tribe and actually spent most of his time telling them they had it completely wrong. He then sorted out the whole relationship to God thing, helped us to see how incredibly loving and personal God is, helped us to realise he is all in all and we have nothing to worry about.

Mankind has been trying to return to the mish mash of tribal Judaism in the name of Christ ever since - completely missing the point of everything Jesus did.

What a mess we have made of something so incredibly simple - God 100% in us and us 100% in God - complete freedom to live loved!

The Dilemma of Grace

I think many people have the idea that grace (especially the "new" grace experience) is either a license to sin or a denial of the reality of our nature.

The view point of "license to sin" is simply based on not understanding the purpose and power of grace, and isn't the focus of this post.

Many, however, see that the embracing of the finished work of Christ, in that we are completely one with God, sin free, unconditionally loved, and completely free from any law etc, as being a denial of the reality of our life here and now.

The reality of what Christ did and the new covenant is even far more radical than that. God doesn't even see sin any more and only sees us as perfect loved children, well, more than that! He sees us, in fact, as lovers now, and simply wants us to enjoy him, living beyond the concepts of right and wrong (the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil).

Now this certainly sounds like a weird and wacky disregard of reality. A complete ignorance of the necessity for law and moral guidelines, and, even worse in some ways, a denial of our personal reality. By that I mean the processes that our minds deal with on a moment by moment basis. The complex dynamics of experience, paradigm, fears, guilt and shame, the handling of relationships that simply can't be nicely sorted and boxed. Our minds just don't resemble the ideal of this grace thing, so it seems like it really is just an ideal, but devoid of common sense and the reality of life.

Here's a quote by Paul Zahl:

Grace is love that seeks you out when you have nothing to give in return. Grace is love coming at you that has nothing to do with you. Grace is being loved when you are unlovable…. The cliché definition of grace is “unconditional love.” It is a true cliché, for it is a good description of the thing. Let’s go a little further, though. Grace is a love that has nothing to do with you, the beloved. It has everything and only to do with the lover. Grace is irrational in the sense that it has nothing to do with weights and measures. It has nothing to do with my intrinsic qualities or so-called “gifts” (whatever they may be). It reflects a decision on the part of the giver, the one who loves, in relation to the receiver, the one who is loved, that negates any qualifications the receiver may personally hold…. Grace is one-way love.

Grace doesn't make demands. It just gives. And from our vantage point, it always gives to the wrong person. We see this over and over again in the Gospels: Jesus is always giving to the wrong people—prostitutes, tax collectors, half-breeds. The most extravagant sinners of Jesus’s day receive his most compassionate welcome. Grace is a divine vulgarity that stands caution on its head. It refuses to play it safe and lay it up. Grace is recklessly generous, uncomfortably promiscuous. It doesn't use sticks, carrots, or time cards. It doesn't keep score. As Robert Capon puts it, “Grace works without requiring anything on our part. It’s not expensive. It’s not even cheap. It’s free.” It refuses to be controlled by our innate sense of fairness, reciprocity, and evenhandedness. It defies logic. It has nothing to do with earning, merit, or deservedness. It is opposed to what is owed. It doesn’t expect a return on investments. It is a liberating contradiction between what we deserve and what we get. Grace is unconditional acceptance given to an undeserving person by an unobligated giver.

It is one-way love.

With this in mind, we have to come to terms with how it affects our inner life, our daily struggles and moment by moment realities. Here's how it works for me:

I'm convinced of the truth about the nature of grace and that the key to living in it is renewing my mind to its reality. So in daily life I take the time to just stop and remember that I really am a new creation, that I am one with God, and that He is completely besotted with me this second and that will never change. That's it! That's living in the "rest" of His love. Its allowing my mind to focus on that simple fact.

I can't change anything about myself, but I can begin the renewing of my mind by just letting myself be loved and allowing that to slowly alter my thoughts and emotions. Of course I'll still do lots of stuff that is not beneficial to God, myself and others. I'll hurt people, make stupid decisions, wrestle with my past and my future - all that stuff. BUT, they no longer define me. The real reality (lol), is everything I need to live loved has been done, that by focusing on that and resting in that place as often as I can, I WILL be changed. It can't be helped. 

The crap of daily life doesn't change, but my responses do. The recognition of my unity with Love himself will change me - it has and it will. This is the life changing power that Paul speaks of in his letters. Its the ONLY thing that brings change. And its simple and goes against everything logic tells us. It goes against religion, morality, tradition and most church doctrines. 

It is freedom! And remember: God is love - live loved!! ;-)

More about living loved

"God is love - live loved".

Yes Jim, we know already, yawn...

Well hey! I got more!!

The impact of this little tag line just keeps digging its way deeper into my heart. It's the truth that is the foundation of everything we are. There is nothing else! There is no right or wrong, there is no us or them - Love is the beginning and end of all things. Yep - love! NOT correct doctrine, sound theology, holy living, obedience, submission, or any other christian jargon you care to insert here.

We are one with God - He is uniquely and wonderfully entwined with every quantum particle of our being. He IS love, and we are infused with love. We are just on the journey of renewing our minds - changing our minds - repenting - about this fact. We are one with love!

To live loved is the complete response of our being, to that intimate union. Recognising that we don't even think in terms of moral values, ethical issues, principles or anything else that refers to an external set of requirements. Our process of renewal requires complete abandoning of the desire for the knowledge of good and evil - yes, that's what I said. If we don't, we will never be open to acting in love, because every thought and action will be filtered through the the very thing that sent us down the wrong path!

Prophetic words, healing, miracles, annointings, whatever.... all just fluff and bubbles. They may be genuine, they may be something else (no, not demons or deception - its a whole other subject), but they are far short of the reality of living loved. These things are a mere side track to the real nitty gritty of living loved.

We are not called to judge anything, only act in love. What does that look like? I don't know! It looks like whatever Love looks like in you. Perhaps you might heal someone - awesome. Perhaps a child returns from a vision of heaven clutching a gemstone - incredible! But they are simply personal responses by a loving God to people at their point of faith. They are not universal truths.

To persistently try to establish correct doctrines based on moral, ethical, scriptural, legal, or simply "good" standards is totally and utterly missing the point of Christ. All of this stuff is part of the incessant struggling for secure boundaries - the desperate need to define what is correct/right/good against bad/evil/immoral. We all love to be told what is good and bad, so our actions are clearly defined and we know when anyone has crossed the line.

This system CANNOT work, simply because no one can ever agree on the fine print. From the daily decisions and interactions of our lives, right through to complex social decisions. Thousands of years of lawyers, fussing and squabbling, theological pontificating, "revelations", "revivals", you name it - have never ever improved a single thing, just made it more complicated.

It all has to go - completely! That's what the whole symbolism of the tree of the KNOWLEDGE of good and evil is all about. Its even more than Christ doing away with the law, its FAR bigger than that. Its Christ doing away with anything to do with that knowledge. This is mind blowing!! It only leaves us one place to go - yes, you guessed it - love.

Love is not a cop out, its the fabric of the universe! Until we get it into our thick heads that God actually is nothing but love, and that we are to LIVE LOVED, we are simply running in circles.

(I have much more on this subject, I'm just scraping the surface of this!)

Christianity is dead - long live Jesus

Maybe I'm just getting tired and cynical, or maybe I'm really feeling God's heart - not sure...

As I troll the interwebs, looking at the goings on in christendom, I start to feel like its all a farce. All the bickering, the twisted angry people spouting twisted angry doctrines about a twisted angry God. Fighting each other over things that don't matter, swallowing stupidity hook line and sinker. Gullibly believing stuff just because it was how their favourite leaders teach it, or its just the traditions they have been handed down.

Then there's all the political crap that has been wrapped in christian words, supposedly to make godly nations, and supposedly bringing his blessing on the land. And all the money grabbing ministries, and all the "support Israel or be damned" groups.

I look at all this and think, what a mess! Is there actually any truth in this whatsoever? The bible is little use in sorting out the mess because that's the very thing that starts half the problems anyway. For me christianity is dead. Its a corpse that won't lie down because people keep kicking it around, propping it up and putting makeup on it in the vain hope that it will keep going.

But somewhere outside of all that is the light of Jesus. I think the light went out in christainity a long time ago. There are however lights shining in individuals who quietly get on with bringing Gods heart to a starving needy world. And many aren't in the church, and many aren't "christians" (gasp). But they bring Fathers love to all they touch. They bring the miracle of what Jesus did for all mankind to life in all they are and do, and spread that miracle to all around them.

That light also flickers in some of us, and struggles to burn through the walls of christianity, to break free into the world. It is held back by the very religion that tried to embrace it, but ended up smothering it to death.

For those of us who nurture our precious unity with God, who see that flame in others and want nothing more than to blow life into it, can we stand together? Can we leave the rotting putrid corpse of christendom for the vultures, walk away from it, and let Jesus shine? Let his unconditional love for everyone be our sole justification for all we are and do?

I could! I could just walk away from it all and leave it for the fires of Gehenna.

Questions

Why does God allow suffering?
Why is there so much pain?
What about innocent children dying?
What about world politics? National politics?
Doomsday? Freedom of speech? Injustice? Poor and homeless? Mental illness?
And all the other questions we have?

We want the answer to why all this happens, when God who IS Love and nothing but Love, lets it happen!

There are thousands of theologically complex answers that require a lot of mental gymnastics to get around. We keep trying to answering this big question by analyzing scripture, and end up with something that doesn't really appease anyone deep down. I mean, really deep in our hearts. Its one of those areas that we end up saying "God's ways are greater than ours" blah, blah...

But these questions will never be answered, and CANNOT be answered by any amount of exegesis, study, whatever. Its RELATIONSHIP! Lame answer isn't it. Well, here it is - we won't see an answer outside of personal intimate relationship with the fullness of the truine God. We have to let go of these questions completely, as overwhelming as they are, and ONLY pursue the reality of our love affair with God.

Only then will the world make sense. Only out of the security of our reciprocal, unconditional, love with God does the world and all these questions make sense. And even more frustrating is we begin to loose the language to communicate any set of tidy answers that we can share. We start to see God's heart for his precious creation, that is way beyond black and white solutions to problems. There is a peace "beyond all understanding" that rests in a greater reality. The answers we crave for cannot be expressed in words, only in love.

We waste our time trying to enter into political discussions, justice, suffering etc, trying to figure out what a "Christian" stand should be on these things. Just look at how well that works!

Its ONLY from intimate relationship with God that we will ever see His heart for the world He created. And that is beyond communication. It can only be expressed in an overflow of His love for us.

Perichoresis

"Perichoresis: the mutual inter-penetration and indwelling within the threefold nature of the Trinity, God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit...
The relationship of the Triune God is intensified by the relationship of perichoresis. This indwelling expresses and realizes fellowship between the Father and the Son. It is intimacy. Jesus compares the oneness of this indwelling to the oneness of the fellowship of his church from this indwelling. "That they all may be one; as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be one in us (John 17:21)." ~ Wikipedia
(Perichoresis.org for more info)


A very fine sounding word, and if you flash it around you'll sound highly knowledgeable and people will give you instant credibility, although there is the possibility they will think you are talking about a tropical disease.

But I love this concept. We all give it verbal acknowledgement to some degree, but the full implications seem to completely elude most of us. I'm starting to get my head around it, but I think I'm just flitting around the edges. I mean, "the mutual inter-penetration and indwelling within the threefold nature of the Trinity" is a bit beyond the edge of where our nice safe doctrines usually take us. Sounds a bit like sex to me! That's full intimate hot sex between besotted lovers. And not only that, its a foursome!  

Have I just gone too far? Over-stepped the bounds of decency and morality?
Ok, we are made in God's image, so many things about love and intimacy that we understand are definitely God given and mirror part of His image, His character (and remember, God is Love!). We fall in love with someone, become more and more familiar and open to each other, the level of intimacy increases until it is consummated in sex. This must be a shadow of God's love, and, what's more, a dim shadow at that! Very scary!

This opens up a whole can of worms that would take more than this blog to cover. But I keep getting more and more overwhelmed with the revelation that I am loved so much that God wants to be that intimate - He wants our mutual inter-penetration. And not only that, He is already integrally a part of us, all of us, and He's inviting us to be as intimate as the Godhead is. Yes, this is starting to sound pretty cosmic and whacky but as usual, its been something I just can't shake! There really is something to it, and I'm starting to experience it, and I think we have all experienced a degree of it at some time, but the fear of loosing ourselves on that level is real, and we certainly aren't encouraged to pursue beyond a safe church experience.

Now I'm not much for the whole "drunk in the spirit" thing. I understand it, and don't knock the validity of the experience (although I have seen a lot of "faking"), but most of the time its just inappropriate self indulgence, in my opinion anyway. However, the sense of being in love to the degree that perichoresis allows goes way beyond being "drunk", as far as the "shadow", that our earthly experience is, indicates.

And here's another thing that really amazes me. God holds everything together - there is nowhere He isn't, therefore He is in everything - there is no part of us where He isn't, therefore He is intrinsically a part of us or we wouldn't exist, therefore perichoresisis isn't some weird new doctrine. All we have to do is accept it and allow God to gently take us into the awareness of our unity, to help us open our minds to His intimacy. He already knows us completely, but He wants us to enjoy His knowledge of us and our knowledge of him, that we would mutually understand, embrace each other, talk and listen to each other and allow that intimacy its full course, whatever that may look like!

How does He speak to you - follow up

After my request for comments on how God speaks to you  I received a good range of replies (although not anywhere near as much as I hoped - feel free to let me know if you are still interested). My plan was to assemble all the comments anonymously to show the diversity of our interactions with Him, and explore this with my own perspective to provide some clarity on the whole subject, and publish it as a short article.

I'm now working on this (probably to be incorporated into my book as well), and finding it really exciting. There are many questions surrounding how we equate intimacy and unity with God to how we communicate with Him. I have posted a few ideas before on this and discovered its a difficult subject to discuss, as many feel intimidated and inadequate if their relationship/communication isn't as obvious/demonstrative as others.

For me to say I hear His voice and we talk very intimately about many things, will easily be interpreted as I have a special relationship with God that is better than those who only see Him in nature or get revelation from reading the bible etc. But unless we really open up this area for discussion and get past the judgement and preconceptions, we are doing ourselves a disservice.

The bible says many things about this, but its all quite ambiguous. The reality is we have to trust the Holy Spirit in each other and ourselves to bring deeper intimacy in relationship, however that looks.

I encourage us all to explore this in an unashamed open manner, with no criticism, and at the same time, a willingness to learn and change our paradigms. In the end, if we aren't clearly relating to God "one on one" what do we really have?

How does He speak to YOU!

I've always been fascinated by how God speaks to us all, and as I'm doing a lot of writing/reading these days, I've found there is very little on this subject that's of any real use. Lots of "5 Easy Steps" and formulas that just don't cut it. And I find so many christians who say they don't really know.

So what I'd like from every single one of my adoring fans (and even those who only read this to see what heresies I'm currently exploring!) is a description of how God speaks to you - personally. 

I don't want biblical answers, scriptures or things the church have told you, I want to know how He speaks to your heart, how you "hear His voice". I'd love to hear whatever it is you want to share.

I won't be quoting anyone anywhere and it will be used purely for my research. You can comment here, Facebook me if you are a friend, or email me on jimarjoram@yahoo.co.nz if you want to be more discreet.

Thanks folks - looking forward to a plethora of diverse communications!

My new favourite word

Intimacy...

It's my new favourite word.

Intimacy...
Sounds good!!

I often talk about it and I seem to keep repeating myself before I've realised. I've posted a few things about hearing God and being natural with Him - all that sort of stuff. And my last post was about sex, which is really intimate stuff.

But I've come to the conclusion that its the only thing that matters. I mean, its the only reason we were created!
We weren't created to worship God, or share in his creation, be part of a new world order, or any other reason that escapes me at this moment, I'm sure you've heard lots of reasons.

But all God wants is US. He only created us so He could share Himself with us. He gave us unique characters that are independent of Him, so we can develop into wonderfully "one of a kind" creatures. And then he sorts out all the crappy stuff that we pick up on the way, living in complete union with us.

So if we aint got intimacy, we are missing the WHOLE point of our existence. God is Love, the essence of love is intimacy. Deep mutual sharing of life, entwined hearts, unhindered communication, one with each other, at rest in each other's presence.

After every doctrine, theology, religion and opinion has blown away like dust, all that remains is Him and us. Him in us. Us in Him. Not pantheism, or other variations on that theme, although there are wonderful truths in all these things. God is PERSONAL, knowable, lovable, as well as omnipresent, and all the other "omnis". He gave us everything we need to live in the place of love and union with Him and each other. So much so that we don't even need to think about sin, laws, principles and rituals - just enjoy Him and each other.

What about all the evil, pain and suffering though? Where does it fit in with this wonderful fluffy love picture? What do I say to a mother who has lost her children, and all the horrors that confront me daily? It doesn't negate the nature of God - who He is, what He's done, and how He relates to me. Its an issue of perspective. How often do we say to someone suffering "its Ok, all will be well eventually - it will all work out"? Its our first reaction from deep down inside. Its our hope for something better. And its a link with our eternal nature.

If God is not intensely personal, then everything is ultimately meaningless. Compassion is God working through us, to each other. It is Love here and now, His aching and desire for us made real. Compassion must eventually draw each individual into union with God, otherwise, it too is empty. We must all ultimately find our own love relationship with Him, and when we do, we'll see that suffering isn't the consequence of a God absent from the world, its the consequence of our not embracing Him, and allowing Him to give us eternal eyes, and receiving His love until it fills us to overflowing!

Its all about intimacy!

We Are One

When a heart slows, beating into the mist

When footsteps disconnect, reality bleeding

Eyes tunnel

Voices funnel

The overload begins, the mind retreats

Neurons firing in slowmo

Curling foetal, dreams warmth embracing

Clawing rest, wresting the peace

It will come, it floats through

It curls and folds

It draws and caresses 

It speaks

Can't fight it

Process light it

Fuse ignite it

Oils flowing, warming

Flames passion, intimate touch

Breathe and whisper

We are here, we are one

We sleep and dream, live and scream

We shout our love through the mist

The overload retreats

And we rest in the afterglow

We are one

We are

Things what I've been thunking

Well, here goes...

Christianity doesn't work.

I mean, on so many levels, it just doesn't work.

Oh, I know all the theology and doctrines - done hundreds of seminars, been to bible college, read I don't know how many books and sat through zillions of sermons. So I get it, I understand it. But in terms of being the solution to life the universe and everything - it just doesn't work!

But here it is, stay with me...

Its the fruit that reveals the truth. I have to look at the fruit of "christendom" and, well, its just not there. Yes, there's many arguments about spiritual truth going out to all mankind and what is happening "in the spirit", got all that. But I'm talking about real fruit. Fruit that "feeds" the world on every level - love, joy and peace.

Look at the history of the church. It's produced more hatred, bigotry, racism, political strife, wars, genocide than any other culture on this planet. Lets look at the state of the church now. There have never been more denominations, cults etc, all claiming to have "the truth". Never more division, fighting, slander. The list of failures would fill a book!

So what's the problem? Many of course, say that scripture is always open to abuse - we all know that, and it never changes anything.
So I ask bigger questions, and a lot of people are asking these questions. What if the universal truths contained in the scriptures are far more encompassing than we imagined. That we have limited truth to a particular culture and mindset that it was never meant to be? We have desperately tried for 2000 years to make it all fit, and we are no closer, probably further away, than we have ever been.

So what are the "universal truths"?

The most important one is Love. The bible says it, nearly all other cultures say it, and, more than anything, our hearts say it!

Perhaps the next would be the nature of man. The bible, most cultures, and our hearts say that we are basically stuffed and are forever trying to embrace the one most important truth - Love.

Maybe we could then say that the solution to this dilemma can only be found in God, that no amount of struggling and striving can solve the problem. And perhaps the whole idea of "Christ" as personified in Jesus, is THE solution to life the universe and everything. I'm not talking about our narrow, bigoted, dogmatic traditional perspective. I mean the universal truth of what Christ did - big enough to redeem all of mankind with a plan that is so way beyond a narrow christian viewpoint that we are only just beginning to grasp little bits of it.

And maybe who and what Jesus is and did is so mindbogglingly powerful that its too big to be contained in one book and controlled by one group of people.

Perhaps the last universal truth that underpins all the others, is that God created us for intimacy with Him. I'm not talking about being "one with nature" (although that's pretty cool) and denying our pains and struggles to embrace some vague pie-in-the-sky ideal. I'm talking about knowing God, like I know my best friend. Not just feeling good about God and appreciating Him in everything and loving everyone because it feels good. I mean KNOWING Him, talking, listening, sharing, laughing, crying. All the reality of this life with Him, INSIDE us - intrinsically bound together in heart and mind like lovers.

So is the bible the sole source of truth? I don't think so. What about our hearts? Far more than we think! What about Jesus? The timeless act of Jesus the Christ, before the foundation of the world, outside of time, gave us free access to intimacy with Him who created us - every single person past, present and future.

What about morality, evil, deception, ethics... intimacy takes care of ALL that stuff. The more I look at that, the more real it becomes. Intimacy with He who made us is the only solution. It bypasses every law/tradition/principle/sin/evil/religion - everything! It takes us straight to the heart of all things, where all love, joy and peace originates.

So does christianity "work"? No! All that works in any sense, is acknowledging what Christ has done and walking into deep personal union with God. Nothing more and nothing less.

This is full of generalisations and I know there are many questions that need detailed answers. But I put it out there to challenge and ask those questions and dig deep for real answers. And I've left a lot of comments open ended for your entertainment. God doesn't mind, lets really use those brains and hearts he gave us.

The Book of Jim

An allegory - few holes in it, but serves a purpose...

A friend has written a book about me, well both of us really. Kind of like the story of our relationship over the years; how we met, kept bumping in to each other, discovering similar interests and ideas, finding we had a lot of the same friends. How we flatted together, and became the bestest of friends. I told all the stories of my past, my family. Shared my heart about nearly everything. So yeah, I guess we are pretty intimate, no secrets, we love each other, respect each other.

So here's this book about us, from his perspective. Of course, he ran it all past me, I read the first draft, and I liked it - the good and the bad. There's stuff where he's made a lot of assumptions about me despite our relationship, I mean, there's a limit to how much he can really get inside my head! And there's the limitations of the written word. But I like that it's his heart about me, even if he doesn't quite get me at times.

There's lots of great stories about things we did together, and stories he remembers me telling him, well, his version of the stories, lol! Sometimes he just gets me all wrong, as friends do, but I love that he's put it all in there, because that's what relationships are all about - getting to work through these things. Knowing that in the working out, the friendship grows deeper. Oh I trust him, totally, because we are besties, and what he doesn't get now, he'll get later on.

So its a great book, warts and all, and I wouldn't want it any other way, cos even though its about me, its really about both of us and how he sees that. Not sure if it will ever really be finished, but its published anyway!

What does intimacy look like??

There's a lot of talk about intimacy these days. It's almost a catch phrase in many circles and is thrown around a bit glibly in discussions. But as I look at what "christianity" is all about, it becomes very clear that intimacy is the central issue. Yes, the work of Jesus is central in terms of the mechanics and logistics, but in terms of its purpose, its about intimacy with God, what we were created for, no more and no less. He created us for relationship with him, that's our starting point, everything in our lives comes from that place.

But what does that look like, I mean, how do we "do" it? Ask 20 christians and you may get 20 different answers. Most of us equate intimacy with God with knowing him. That's sort of OK, but intimacy implies a lot more. I know a lot of people, I have many friends I know well - even "intimate" details of their lives. But its very few people who I have shared myself with down to the most private details, bonded with my heart, shared physically and emotionally all that we are together.

That level of intimacy requires commitment, vulnerability, trust, all that stuff... but there is one factor that enables all that - communication! We have to talk, look each other in the eyes, touch each other, listen and be listened to.

Most of us tend to think we will be intimate with God by endlessly reading the bible until it becomes part of us, because its The Word, the complete revelation of God. But of course, that's absurd. If there was a detailed book of my life (heaven forbid) that you could read, you would end up knowing a lot about me, but of course you wouldn't be intimate with me. How could you? You never met me, talked to me, spent time sharing our hearts.

So to have that level of intimacy with God, it requires the same thing. Now he's in us already, in fullness - we can't get any more of him, no bigger anointing, no greater outpouring, and although he sometimes reveals something of himself in huge "whacks" and revelations we still need to renew our minds to his presence and let him build the type of relationship he wants.

He starts by talking to us. Not through the scriptures (although he can reveal truths to us that way), and not through other people (see above). He TALKS to us, that still small voice. Now scripture says its still and small, but its a voice none the less, and Jesus said his sheep know his voice. If you are a sheep, then you can hear and know his voice. Its that simple. We don't have to fast and pray, spend hours studying scripture and endless "quiet times". We just have to shut up long enough and simply trust the small voice we hear in response to our own thoughts. 

We know he loves us to bits and there is no condemnation in Christ, so if that small voice says you've been bad and God is angry, you know its not him. If he just says words of love and encouragement - that's him. If he gives ideas and suggestions about how to fix up the messes we make - that's him.

We trust that voice, Holy Spirit in us. We have "changed our minds" (metanoia) about who we are and who Jesus is, our old nature died with him, and we have a new spirit in us that's uniquely joined with the fullness of God in us. The only thing that gets in the way of hearing his voice clearly is our thought patterns - the old lies left behind that just need to be renewed. The enemy loves to tell us its a battle between the old and the new, but its really simple - really, really simple (remember, like little children). We ARE a new creation, free to run to our Dad, rest in his arms and talk with him.

He loves hearing our stories, our heart breaks, our victories, our shopping list, our funny jokes, our hopes and dreams. He loves having a glass of wine with us (or a beer), eating with us, shopping, driving, cleaning, mowing. And best of all, He chats to us all the time, so simple and natural, we miss it, looking for some powerful "holy" moment when we will have incredible revelations and fall on the floor in awe.

He talks with us, not at us. He listens, and loves. We find our security and identity and live loved, and that overflows into all around us. 

I feel like I've only scratched the surface on how important this is!! I may continue on this subject...