I've had a rough couple of days.
The World Vision US stand has caused a huge ripple through christendom and has created something of a division. Its almost as if the lines are being drawn and all out war is about to ensue.
I've experienced first hand, the wrath of conservatives over anything pro gay. I've tried to engage in reasonable discussions and look at things a little more objectively. I've been passionate, patient, forceful and downright abusive at times.
Its taken its toll, especially after the last one today who glibly informed me (after I had shared my heart with as much integrity as I know) that my entire life was a farce, a fraud, and I was deluded and full of bull shit.
So here I am sharing some of that pain, and realising that fundamentalist christianity is possibly one of the most evil cults this world has seen.
I have been stunned by the level of blind arrogance and pig headed dogma these people display. Sure I've had run ins with religion most of my life, more so lately. But the "gay issue" is bringing the redneck spirit out of the woodwork for all to see.
The thing is, I'm not sure that christianity as such, has much to do with it, except that it provides an effective cover for personal agendas. These people have found a religious system that supports their personal biases and bigotries, and a book that can be manipulated to support whatever they see fit.
I'm feeling reactionary after all this, but its been stirring for a long time. I hate religion! Yeah, most of us do, but I mean christian religion in all its forms. I mean the traditional evangelical type of christianity. I mean 90% of all churches and the doctrines they preach. I mean those christian books you find in christian shops and christian music they sell in christian concerts and christian conferences full of christians trying to be more christian.
It makes me sick.
At least Islam doesn't beat around the bush, you know where you stand! But evangelical christianity is a snake of subtle deception waiting to suck the life out of you, under the guise of making you a better person. I know there are millions of sincere people in that system who care and love as best they can, so I'm not dissing them.
I'm talking about every doctrine and ideal, theological assumption, traditions, structures, methodologies, all of it. I hate it. Really I do.
I go to a little gay friendly Anglican church every so often. Wonderful loving people. But the service sends me spare! The doctrines they spew out make me cringe. I have to drag myself there and suffer through it all just to spend some time with these beautiful people! What a rip off!
Yeah, maybe I've lost it. Maybe I'm throwing the baby out with the bathwater, but I don't really care any more. The small amount of real life left in those places isn't enough for me to endorse in any form.
Here's the strange thing though. I can understand and relate to people stuck in that system. I can communicate on that level, and I love the people, I really do! It doesn't worry me where they are or what they believe, I just want to show people the love God has shown me.
But I HATE the traditional church, fundamentalist christianity, religion in all its forms, biblical literalism, bibliolatry, hypocrisy. I loath all the Israel rubbish, prophetic end times gibberish, glory gold dust and gems, healing crusades, worship gatherings... it all makes me want to vomit.
I'm done with it all. Its time to move on and be the real human/spirit that I am.
One with God.