Friday, 22 February 2013

Slowing Down

Not sure how to express this, but I'll give it a go.

Here's the list of possibilities.

  • I'm way to cynical and burnt for my own good
  • I'm still in recovery from clinical depression
  • I'm overwhelmed by the sheer vastness of lost and confused people
  • I'm overwhelmed by the sheer vastness of people who know everything
  • I'm overwhelmed by the incredible diversity of people's paradigms
  • I'm overwhelmed by the blindness created by people's paradigms
  • I'm overwhelmed by the sheer vastness of God and his relationship to us
  • I'm overwhelmed by the complexity of matter, energy and its integration with spirituality
  • I'm frustrated with narrow minded fundamentalism
  • I loath the tiny little closed box of christianity
  • I'm disgusted by the arrogance of preachers proclaiming they know God
  • I'm horrified by the level of control wielded by spiritual leaders
  • I hate being labelled a christian
  • I'm ashamed of all that calls itself christianity

BUT
  • I'm slowing down and taking time to see things
  • I'm discovering God in new ways
  • I'm beginning to understand living in the moment
  • I'm experiencing real inexplicable moments of love FROM God
  • I'm being changed in deep ways that surprise me
  • I see clearer, every day, God's intricate oneness with everything and everyone
  • I have a sense of peace that grows deeper every day
  • I see people with more compassion than I ever have
  • I've dropped all christian dogma
  • I feel the weight of religion and christian expectation evaporate more every day

Yes, I'm all of the above, and I've never been better, never understood myself more, never been freer to just be me, and never experienced God's love in such a tangible way.

I'm also tired, but not a bad tired, just a peaceful tired. A happiness to close my eyes and dream, to stand on the beach and absorb the sun and sea. To feel loved and to love. Like the last 56 years were almost a dream - a very long difficult dream, that put me right here and now, right where I should be.

I guess its all a bit vague. But I think if we all stop to listen to our hearts long enough, there may be a lot of common ground between us all. 
I hope so.