I'm a snob

Interesting thoughts that I'm not sure how to present without sounding horribly pretentious and basically up myself. Its very self disclosing and something I'm still processing, even after all these years. Never the less, here it is.

I live and associate within a certain class of peers, those that I perceive as my equals in terms of intelligence, integrity, passions and beliefs.

We all do that, its just what we do as humans. But here's where I simply don't know what to do. In reality, there are "unintelligent" people - those who either don't, won't or can't extend their mental faculties to rational thinking. That's not to say we don't all have our moments (and very big moments) of irrationality and complete idiocy, but there are those who simply seem to lack the ability to be self observant. They can't (to varying degrees) step "outside" their thought processes enough to build real depth of relationship, compassion, empathy and understanding.

On the one level you have the "redneck" mentality that reeks of unbridled bigotry and ignorance at its best. Then you have those who use things like religion to hide behind, and express their opinions and observations in the name of that religion, all with a similar ignorance that is in the category of "don't won't or can't" think for themselves with any level of integrity. Politics is another haven for the ignorant to hide behind.

I would like to assume I'm intelligent, in that I'm capably of thinking reasonably rationally, own my thoughts, have integrity, compassion and the ability and desire to want to understand others. There are many others who I consider far more intelligent in those terms than myself, but I still have a tendency to group myself with the more elite "thinkers" - those who take the time to ponder deeper things, to question, to see beyond the surface images, to challenge the status quo.

I struggle to simply accept that much of the world doesn't have the same abilities. I can't help but be a snob in some ways, because I really do see things differently and take the time to question myself and all around me.

But at the same time I really do have a love and compassion for everyone (mostly, lol), seeing them as struggling with the same things I do, the same life problems. We are all equal, under the same rain that falls on the just and the unjust.

I feel really frustrated that so many people don't seem to understand the most basic concepts of living - relationships, empathy, even common sense. So does this make me better, smarter, blessed or cursed?

I know there are many who feel the same, and many who think they are the same but simply parrot things that sound intelligent (that could be me half the time!). Some times I give up trying to communicate because of the apparent inability of the other to be objective and rational enough.

There are however, very "simple" people, who have an incredible sincerity and integrity, accept their own limitations and extend so much love and compassion that its embarrassing to the rest of us, wherever we are at! But I'm not like that.

I'm not like a redneck. I'm not a mindless consumer. I'm not a sheep. I'm a rebellious thinker. And often it feels like a curse, when it makes me proud and look down on others, and other times a burden of responsibility. Sometimes it would be good to not have to think, but its just who I am. Can't change it - can't stop thinking, observing, pondering.

And worst of all, it feels incredibly arrogant, demeaning and patronising to even express these thoughts! But there it is, now you know!!