I was a passionate Christian for well over 40 years. Probably like most of you, life has been an adventure, full of joy, pain, regrets, shame, victory, defeat... you name it!
I was "zapped" by God when I was 15. No emotional "altar call" or meetings, just me and God late one night. It was so powerful and intimate that I could never, ever doubt it. My only point of reference for this experience however was the church, so I totally devoured the bible and read the classics of the faith, but my ever inquiring/questioning mind never settled with the status quo. So, my journey of wandering through every doctrine and flavour of spirituality and christianity began.I had a chequered youth, dealing with being gay, drugs and the musician's lifestyle (you know - the sex, drugs and rock and roll sort of thing) but somehow that experience of God would never let me go, and gave me the strength to go on, no matter what.
I studied endlessly, reading hundreds of books, 2 years of bible college, listening to who knows how many sermons and lectures and countless conferences. I absorbed the bible until it became part of my world view.
I thought I knew what an intimate relationship with God looked like despite all the religious, legalistic, cultish rubbish I went through, and I kept seeing glimpses of a life resting in perfect grace, mercy and unconditional love. It's only been the last few years where that freedom has become a reality as I began to embrace the fullness of who I really am. I began slowly "renewing" my mind to a far bigger, more inclusive and more loving spirituality than christian dogma could offer.
I studied endlessly, reading hundreds of books, 2 years of bible college, listening to who knows how many sermons and lectures and countless conferences. I absorbed the bible until it became part of my world view.
I thought I knew what an intimate relationship with God looked like despite all the religious, legalistic, cultish rubbish I went through, and I kept seeing glimpses of a life resting in perfect grace, mercy and unconditional love. It's only been the last few years where that freedom has become a reality as I began to embrace the fullness of who I really am. I began slowly "renewing" my mind to a far bigger, more inclusive and more loving spirituality than christian dogma could offer.
Where am I today? Good question!
Life has become a wonderful adventure, free from the dogma of any religion, free to explore my unique journey with God, wherever that takes me. I can rest in the fact that he/she/it is far bigger and better than any one religion can contain. I've found that christianity can be a wonderful and valid expression of spirituality but falls far short of the true depths of all we are and our place in the universe.
But above all, doctrines and theologies aren't important - love is the only thing that matters. If the fruit of our belief system is anything other than love, then that system is bankrupt. I spent my life trying to discover how to live with integrity of faith and character, to have complete honesty in all I am and do. I believe that is all we can ever ask of each other. We each have our own completely unique journey to live.
Live loved!
