Travels in Aus

Well its been 4 weeks in sunny Australia and one more to go! What an amazing time, visiting family and friends (old and new) and some time to chill/sightsee/reminisce.

I have so much to process! I felt it was a time to listen, observe, hear the incredibly diverse stories of the people who have meant a lot to me over the years. Many of them I hadn't seen for 20 or more years, even a couple of old school friends from the 70s. I shared much of my story too, and received all the love that was offered, especially from those who knew Min.

Over the next few weeks I'll be compiling a lot of thoughts from this trip. I knew God wanted to expand my horizons, allow me to see His love in action in so many different lives. To see the application of His grace where it intersects in every person's life. I have been blessed more than I could imagine by how He has revealed His heart of love to me and allowed me to see it in others, even when they can't.

As I'm typing this I feel a weight of solemnity, almost tears (or something), aching to see the world overwhelmed with His passionate love for us all, yet almost a detachment from myself as I also walk the path of journalist/observer, ready to question, inspire, delivering cathartic catalysts, and prizing paradigms loose from their moorings.

He is good beyond our wildest dreams, and so much bigger than our silly little doctrines and dogmas.

"...but the greatest of these is Love" 1 Cor 13

How does He speak to you - follow up

After my request for comments on how God speaks to you  I received a good range of replies (although not anywhere near as much as I hoped - feel free to let me know if you are still interested). My plan was to assemble all the comments anonymously to show the diversity of our interactions with Him, and explore this with my own perspective to provide some clarity on the whole subject, and publish it as a short article.

I'm now working on this (probably to be incorporated into my book as well), and finding it really exciting. There are many questions surrounding how we equate intimacy and unity with God to how we communicate with Him. I have posted a few ideas before on this and discovered its a difficult subject to discuss, as many feel intimidated and inadequate if their relationship/communication isn't as obvious/demonstrative as others.

For me to say I hear His voice and we talk very intimately about many things, will easily be interpreted as I have a special relationship with God that is better than those who only see Him in nature or get revelation from reading the bible etc. But unless we really open up this area for discussion and get past the judgement and preconceptions, we are doing ourselves a disservice.

The bible says many things about this, but its all quite ambiguous. The reality is we have to trust the Holy Spirit in each other and ourselves to bring deeper intimacy in relationship, however that looks.

I encourage us all to explore this in an unashamed open manner, with no criticism, and at the same time, a willingness to learn and change our paradigms. In the end, if we aren't clearly relating to God "one on one" what do we really have?

Today...

Early mist, eddies, foggy eyes
Morning light denies
Creeping thinking fingers of why
Today, is the worth of change
Too magnetic to refuse
Or does the warmth of the night
Pull tight
On sheets that fight
For the right, to cover my dreams?

Does the day pass
Too fast to last
The tide of thoughts
Pouring from a cracked mind
Into pools left behind
Moment by minute
Barely mine?

The night space is different somehow
Pull the day together
The thread of peace
Through every neuron
Summarising, ordering,
Creating, regretting
Embracing this jumble
Resting and forgetting
Covering my dreams

Paradox

Which is better - to stand by scripture and endlessly battle through paradox, or to stand with integrity in your heart?

Are these things mutually exclusive?

What do I mean?

The bible talks a lot about what God does, tells his people to do, describes His character, His relationship with His creation etc. And heaps of it is contradictory. Now before you jump on me and say that His character and ways are so far beyond ours that we could never understand, lets talk about that a little.

There are very clear contradictions about his requirements for love, justice, ethics, anger, fear and many other traits. Most of them are between the old and new covenants, so we happily say the new covenant is a whole new era of His unconditional love poured out on His creation, and the old was about a legal standing and requirements. But that still doesn't cover the problem with the basic character of God which is supposed to be unchanging.

This is basic stuff in some ways, but we either completely ignore it or create very complex theology to get around it, or just throw up our hands and say God is God and its not our place to understand.

But its still there... The God of the Old covenant was pretty bad, His standards were outrageously demanding, but worst were the many things he told the Jews to do, murder of pregnant mothers and children,  genocide, so many things that by our standards are absolutely unthinkable, in fact, not too dissimilar to Hitler and other tyrant despots! Any person doing these things today would be stopped by the UN and tried in an international court with crimes against humanity.

So how do we deal with this logic? Is it enough to say our logic is futile compared to His? There's many places in scripture where He lays out in no uncertain terms the nature of love, 1cor 13 being the most obvious. The obvious conclusion is if that's His standard for us then His own standard must be at least the same if not higher. So has that standard of unconditional love always been His standard? He is unchangeable after all!

I have read endless stuff on the subject of Gods immutable character over my life as a christian and know all the theology that tries to reconcile this. But either it's just me, or none of it actually works. I have yet to hear any explanation that really says "YES" to my heart. So I think the problem is either the bible itself, or how I understand it. Perhaps its neither though, or both. I am only left with being able to rely on Holy Spirit in me - the comforter/councilor that Jesus said could only come when He had finished His work on earth. He reveals all truth to us, not any written words, no matter how "holy" we have declared them to be.

I know beyond any doubt that if I'm created in His image, it means that the way I think, process, feel; the way the deepest parts of me understand the truth of unconditional love; the way our hearts yearn for justice based on compassion and understanding, are the same as His. They have to be, or there is nothing left that we can say is "in His image".

What then are the implications of God being nothing but love? That all He is and does comes from that heart? This fact undermines every religious understanding of scripture and our demented acceptance of a tyrant God who we dare not question and blindly accept as unpredictable, unknowable and prone to getting offended big time.

All those great christians who we love and respect the most through history are those who loved the most, who poured out Father's heart of love and compassion. God is in all, holding everything together - there is nowhere in all of creation that He is not. He is love, we are held together by love, the darkness is even filled with his love.

I hope that makes you concerned about what you believe, even about what I believe, that it makes you think just for a minute about God's true nature, and how we respond to that.

How does He speak to YOU!

I've always been fascinated by how God speaks to us all, and as I'm doing a lot of writing/reading these days, I've found there is very little on this subject that's of any real use. Lots of "5 Easy Steps" and formulas that just don't cut it. And I find so many christians who say they don't really know.

So what I'd like from every single one of my adoring fans (and even those who only read this to see what heresies I'm currently exploring!) is a description of how God speaks to you - personally. 

I don't want biblical answers, scriptures or things the church have told you, I want to know how He speaks to your heart, how you "hear His voice". I'd love to hear whatever it is you want to share.

I won't be quoting anyone anywhere and it will be used purely for my research. You can comment here, Facebook me if you are a friend, or email me on jimarjoram@yahoo.co.nz if you want to be more discreet.

Thanks folks - looking forward to a plethora of diverse communications!

One Year On - A Reflection

On the 5th July it will be 1 year since Min died.

On what premise should love's seed take root
Why do hearts agree to entwine?
Its a tango line dance left footed clumsy
Red rose thorn through the lip

A journey of lesson's rewards
Chalkboard revision
Playground derision
Laughter, swings and slides

Familiarity cushions falls
Open arms understanding
Reach through eye's deep wells
Embracing an inner child

Run hard with bleeding feet
To beat the passion tide
Racing to fulfilment
Dreams burn inside

Peace is won on rodeo pain
Lying wounded in straw and dust
Questions fade in sad smiles
Deep answers unspoken

The light returns to the foundations of time
Fleeting flesh resigns
Freeing the spark to ignite new stars
And birth the new song

What We All Need

We all need to be loved

Absolutely, every single person ever created needs to be loved -

• The girl in the call centre who just keeps quoting the fixed responses to you
• The policeman who just pulled you over for not signalling when you have 3 screaming kids in the car and have just had the worst day of your life
• The redneck bigot shouting racist abuse in a protest
• The teenager that just gave you the finger
• The young black guy that stole your bag
• The politician that just made the most blatantly stupid policy change the nation has ever seen
• Your mother in law
• Hitler

All they need is love. That's it.

They don't need to be told how bad they are -

• How rude
• How unforgiving
• How thoughtless
• How selfish
• How evil

They need love.
I need love.

I don't respond well when my faults are pointed out - in patronising innuendos.
Yeah, sometimes I need to be reminded, when I tread on a toe or two. But I need to laugh more than cry, I need love to heal the pain. I need total unconditional love no matter what.

God IS love. Jesus is what love looked like in the flesh.

He cleared away ALL laws/religion/sin before the foundation of time - revealed the fact 2000 years ago - and left room for nothing else but love.

Everything that isn't love can be banished by love.

• We renew our minds by love
• Resist evil by love
• Stand strong in love
• Relate to all mankind in love

There is no law, at all, any more, ever.

• No wisdom principles
• No guiding morals
• No 10 commandments
• No golden rules
• No 4 spiritual laws
• No two greatest commandments

There is only one thing left:

LOVE

My new favourite word

Intimacy...

It's my new favourite word.

Intimacy...
Sounds good!!

I often talk about it and I seem to keep repeating myself before I've realised. I've posted a few things about hearing God and being natural with Him - all that sort of stuff. And my last post was about sex, which is really intimate stuff.

But I've come to the conclusion that its the only thing that matters. I mean, its the only reason we were created!
We weren't created to worship God, or share in his creation, be part of a new world order, or any other reason that escapes me at this moment, I'm sure you've heard lots of reasons.

But all God wants is US. He only created us so He could share Himself with us. He gave us unique characters that are independent of Him, so we can develop into wonderfully "one of a kind" creatures. And then he sorts out all the crappy stuff that we pick up on the way, living in complete union with us.

So if we aint got intimacy, we are missing the WHOLE point of our existence. God is Love, the essence of love is intimacy. Deep mutual sharing of life, entwined hearts, unhindered communication, one with each other, at rest in each other's presence.

After every doctrine, theology, religion and opinion has blown away like dust, all that remains is Him and us. Him in us. Us in Him. Not pantheism, or other variations on that theme, although there are wonderful truths in all these things. God is PERSONAL, knowable, lovable, as well as omnipresent, and all the other "omnis". He gave us everything we need to live in the place of love and union with Him and each other. So much so that we don't even need to think about sin, laws, principles and rituals - just enjoy Him and each other.

What about all the evil, pain and suffering though? Where does it fit in with this wonderful fluffy love picture? What do I say to a mother who has lost her children, and all the horrors that confront me daily? It doesn't negate the nature of God - who He is, what He's done, and how He relates to me. Its an issue of perspective. How often do we say to someone suffering "its Ok, all will be well eventually - it will all work out"? Its our first reaction from deep down inside. Its our hope for something better. And its a link with our eternal nature.

If God is not intensely personal, then everything is ultimately meaningless. Compassion is God working through us, to each other. It is Love here and now, His aching and desire for us made real. Compassion must eventually draw each individual into union with God, otherwise, it too is empty. We must all ultimately find our own love relationship with Him, and when we do, we'll see that suffering isn't the consequence of a God absent from the world, its the consequence of our not embracing Him, and allowing Him to give us eternal eyes, and receiving His love until it fills us to overflowing!

Its all about intimacy!

Sex

I bet that title got you interested! No hesitation there, lets check this one out!

Well, this is an X rated blog, so if you are under 18 you'd better find something else to read!

Right then!!

In reality we only have allegory and metaphor regarding sex in scripture. So that is where I want to explore. There's obviously comparisons to the church, which we smile and say "isn't that nice", how romantic etc. But there's this whole thing about intimacy. There's Song of Solomon, which is kind of scary cos it gets rather detailed about sensual things. And there's also a lot more subtle things through scripture about our relationship with God that are there for anyone to see, but we just don't want to really know about.

First up, Song of Solomon, describes a very sensual relationship, and a desire for physical, passionate love. So how do we interpret that for the church, i.e. us, i.e. me and God, right now? Think on that for a moment.

Let's look at things from the human perspective. We are made in the image of God, so sex and all that entails, must be an aspect of God's being. We find someone that we fall in love with. That's not just a really close friend. There's something that ignites a physical desire, that pleases the eyes and ignites the hormones. This draws us into a desire to really know the other person. To spend hours exploring hearts and minds, desires and pain, and to explore each others bodies, culminating in the act of sex, a physical penetration of the body resulting in intense pleasure and forming a bond that poets and artist only can describe.

So how does that relate to us and God? I can easily understand the desire to get to know each other, but then it gets a bit odd. Do we have sex with God? I mean is that just bizarre or what? But intimate relationships are supposed to be a picture of our relationship with God, so there must be something to it!

Some people have touched on it to some degree when they are completely overwhelmed by God's love and feel totally immersed in Him, to the point of being unaware of anything else around them. Some call it getting blissed or whatever and to me it looks more like an orgy (yeah, I know...). But maybe its different to that. Its something that happens in personal intimacy, just you and God, behind closed doors so to speak. He draws you close and he penetrates your heart and mind, pushing through the flesh and pumping his life into you. Its something that gives him and us incredible pleasure, something we can rest in, knowing that there is a bond and union there that only the two of you can understand.

This is unity with God, anything less than that is platonic. We can talk about it, but until we actually do it, its like bragging to our friends about how good someone is in bed when its just never happened.

So how does that really work, I mean that kind of IS having sex with God. And how do we initiate it and, well, this is just weird. I have experienced times that come so close to it - awesome moments of unity, and in all truth, I back off in fear. But I know that I know, its what he wants. I'm not worried though that I'm missing out, because he's gentle and understands my fear, and knows that I want him more than anything. And something that is even scarier - we all take on the female role in this relationship! And that's something not many guys are willing to even think about.

So is this crazy stuff? Am I really loosing it? Seriously? Or is this something He intended all along and its just prudish legalistic greek thinking religion that has denied us of His pleasures?

Kings Cross

Back in the 70s I lived near Kings Cross in Sydney (the red light district for those who may not know). I spent a lot of time wandering around there, fascinated by the people, life, glitz, pain and passion.

I wrote three poems back then that reflect some of that. Not the happiest of observations, but very real at the time.

Bohemian

Bohemians night wave

   Ever bright, never right

Moving through neons

   Whores boredom's delight

      A farce, tight through the night

Boots glitter with steel

Raking laughter through gutters to sheol

Hot malt sweet air slices the chill

Inciting tempers, baiting the kill

Mechanical hearts!

Porch Light

The ringing of silence

Invades his ears

He listens to the voices and steps

   of distant revellers

Wending home to a morning after

The porch lights silhouette silk hair

And his eyes glitter in street fluorescents

A love song from a wailing tom

   hopeful excuses, avoided

   perhaps a tear

   or a smile and a sigh

A look and he's seen and understood

So the door closes and the light dies

And he turns to count weary steps home

Mutton

She sat, pensive and transfixed

   at her own mirror image

Brush poised to stoke away vain fears

   her hand then flowed

And bristles pulled at memories

   of the future

Each decisive stroke jerked and slowed

   trailing off at static split ends

Mutton dressed as lamb, some would say

A glance would confirm

   Lipstick a shade too bright

   Rouge a shade too red

   Lashes a thickness too black

And eyes that glared

   conceit and pride

   softness and tears, welling up and over the brink of self pity

A lifetime taken its toll

The world beaten out a mould for her

   and those who would pass and see

   would pour a little more of her into it

She had a place, amongst the shabby people

The dead artists and those who would not die

Fluttering through past flames of glory, or illusion

She would be there

   stoking the blaze

Alive with the fear of an empty room

Delicately she would skim the top

   off her bowl of life

seeing each time how little was left

   slowly congealing

   like the blood in her veins

   and the bitterness in her soul