One Year On - A Reflection

On the 5th July it will be 1 year since Min died.

On what premise should love's seed take root
Why do hearts agree to entwine?
Its a tango line dance left footed clumsy
Red rose thorn through the lip

A journey of lesson's rewards
Chalkboard revision
Playground derision
Laughter, swings and slides

Familiarity cushions falls
Open arms understanding
Reach through eye's deep wells
Embracing an inner child

Run hard with bleeding feet
To beat the passion tide
Racing to fulfilment
Dreams burn inside

Peace is won on rodeo pain
Lying wounded in straw and dust
Questions fade in sad smiles
Deep answers unspoken

The light returns to the foundations of time
Fleeting flesh resigns
Freeing the spark to ignite new stars
And birth the new song

What We All Need

We all need to be loved

Absolutely, every single person ever created needs to be loved -

• The girl in the call centre who just keeps quoting the fixed responses to you
• The policeman who just pulled you over for not signalling when you have 3 screaming kids in the car and have just had the worst day of your life
• The redneck bigot shouting racist abuse in a protest
• The teenager that just gave you the finger
• The young black guy that stole your bag
• The politician that just made the most blatantly stupid policy change the nation has ever seen
• Your mother in law
• Hitler

All they need is love. That's it.

They don't need to be told how bad they are -

• How rude
• How unforgiving
• How thoughtless
• How selfish
• How evil

They need love.
I need love.

I don't respond well when my faults are pointed out - in patronising innuendos.
Yeah, sometimes I need to be reminded, when I tread on a toe or two. But I need to laugh more than cry, I need love to heal the pain. I need total unconditional love no matter what.

God IS love. Jesus is what love looked like in the flesh.

He cleared away ALL laws/religion/sin before the foundation of time - revealed the fact 2000 years ago - and left room for nothing else but love.

Everything that isn't love can be banished by love.

• We renew our minds by love
• Resist evil by love
• Stand strong in love
• Relate to all mankind in love

There is no law, at all, any more, ever.

• No wisdom principles
• No guiding morals
• No 10 commandments
• No golden rules
• No 4 spiritual laws
• No two greatest commandments

There is only one thing left:

LOVE

My new favourite word

Intimacy...

It's my new favourite word.

Intimacy...
Sounds good!!

I often talk about it and I seem to keep repeating myself before I've realised. I've posted a few things about hearing God and being natural with Him - all that sort of stuff. And my last post was about sex, which is really intimate stuff.

But I've come to the conclusion that its the only thing that matters. I mean, its the only reason we were created!
We weren't created to worship God, or share in his creation, be part of a new world order, or any other reason that escapes me at this moment, I'm sure you've heard lots of reasons.

But all God wants is US. He only created us so He could share Himself with us. He gave us unique characters that are independent of Him, so we can develop into wonderfully "one of a kind" creatures. And then he sorts out all the crappy stuff that we pick up on the way, living in complete union with us.

So if we aint got intimacy, we are missing the WHOLE point of our existence. God is Love, the essence of love is intimacy. Deep mutual sharing of life, entwined hearts, unhindered communication, one with each other, at rest in each other's presence.

After every doctrine, theology, religion and opinion has blown away like dust, all that remains is Him and us. Him in us. Us in Him. Not pantheism, or other variations on that theme, although there are wonderful truths in all these things. God is PERSONAL, knowable, lovable, as well as omnipresent, and all the other "omnis". He gave us everything we need to live in the place of love and union with Him and each other. So much so that we don't even need to think about sin, laws, principles and rituals - just enjoy Him and each other.

What about all the evil, pain and suffering though? Where does it fit in with this wonderful fluffy love picture? What do I say to a mother who has lost her children, and all the horrors that confront me daily? It doesn't negate the nature of God - who He is, what He's done, and how He relates to me. Its an issue of perspective. How often do we say to someone suffering "its Ok, all will be well eventually - it will all work out"? Its our first reaction from deep down inside. Its our hope for something better. And its a link with our eternal nature.

If God is not intensely personal, then everything is ultimately meaningless. Compassion is God working through us, to each other. It is Love here and now, His aching and desire for us made real. Compassion must eventually draw each individual into union with God, otherwise, it too is empty. We must all ultimately find our own love relationship with Him, and when we do, we'll see that suffering isn't the consequence of a God absent from the world, its the consequence of our not embracing Him, and allowing Him to give us eternal eyes, and receiving His love until it fills us to overflowing!

Its all about intimacy!

Sex

I bet that title got you interested! No hesitation there, lets check this one out!

Well, this is an X rated blog, so if you are under 18 you'd better find something else to read!

Right then!!

In reality we only have allegory and metaphor regarding sex in scripture. So that is where I want to explore. There's obviously comparisons to the church, which we smile and say "isn't that nice", how romantic etc. But there's this whole thing about intimacy. There's Song of Solomon, which is kind of scary cos it gets rather detailed about sensual things. And there's also a lot more subtle things through scripture about our relationship with God that are there for anyone to see, but we just don't want to really know about.

First up, Song of Solomon, describes a very sensual relationship, and a desire for physical, passionate love. So how do we interpret that for the church, i.e. us, i.e. me and God, right now? Think on that for a moment.

Let's look at things from the human perspective. We are made in the image of God, so sex and all that entails, must be an aspect of God's being. We find someone that we fall in love with. That's not just a really close friend. There's something that ignites a physical desire, that pleases the eyes and ignites the hormones. This draws us into a desire to really know the other person. To spend hours exploring hearts and minds, desires and pain, and to explore each others bodies, culminating in the act of sex, a physical penetration of the body resulting in intense pleasure and forming a bond that poets and artist only can describe.

So how does that relate to us and God? I can easily understand the desire to get to know each other, but then it gets a bit odd. Do we have sex with God? I mean is that just bizarre or what? But intimate relationships are supposed to be a picture of our relationship with God, so there must be something to it!

Some people have touched on it to some degree when they are completely overwhelmed by God's love and feel totally immersed in Him, to the point of being unaware of anything else around them. Some call it getting blissed or whatever and to me it looks more like an orgy (yeah, I know...). But maybe its different to that. Its something that happens in personal intimacy, just you and God, behind closed doors so to speak. He draws you close and he penetrates your heart and mind, pushing through the flesh and pumping his life into you. Its something that gives him and us incredible pleasure, something we can rest in, knowing that there is a bond and union there that only the two of you can understand.

This is unity with God, anything less than that is platonic. We can talk about it, but until we actually do it, its like bragging to our friends about how good someone is in bed when its just never happened.

So how does that really work, I mean that kind of IS having sex with God. And how do we initiate it and, well, this is just weird. I have experienced times that come so close to it - awesome moments of unity, and in all truth, I back off in fear. But I know that I know, its what he wants. I'm not worried though that I'm missing out, because he's gentle and understands my fear, and knows that I want him more than anything. And something that is even scarier - we all take on the female role in this relationship! And that's something not many guys are willing to even think about.

So is this crazy stuff? Am I really loosing it? Seriously? Or is this something He intended all along and its just prudish legalistic greek thinking religion that has denied us of His pleasures?

Kings Cross

Back in the 70s I lived near Kings Cross in Sydney (the red light district for those who may not know). I spent a lot of time wandering around there, fascinated by the people, life, glitz, pain and passion.

I wrote three poems back then that reflect some of that. Not the happiest of observations, but very real at the time.

Bohemian

Bohemians night wave

   Ever bright, never right

Moving through neons

   Whores boredom's delight

      A farce, tight through the night

Boots glitter with steel

Raking laughter through gutters to sheol

Hot malt sweet air slices the chill

Inciting tempers, baiting the kill

Mechanical hearts!

Porch Light

The ringing of silence

Invades his ears

He listens to the voices and steps

   of distant revellers

Wending home to a morning after

The porch lights silhouette silk hair

And his eyes glitter in street fluorescents

A love song from a wailing tom

   hopeful excuses, avoided

   perhaps a tear

   or a smile and a sigh

A look and he's seen and understood

So the door closes and the light dies

And he turns to count weary steps home

Mutton

She sat, pensive and transfixed

   at her own mirror image

Brush poised to stoke away vain fears

   her hand then flowed

And bristles pulled at memories

   of the future

Each decisive stroke jerked and slowed

   trailing off at static split ends

Mutton dressed as lamb, some would say

A glance would confirm

   Lipstick a shade too bright

   Rouge a shade too red

   Lashes a thickness too black

And eyes that glared

   conceit and pride

   softness and tears, welling up and over the brink of self pity

A lifetime taken its toll

The world beaten out a mould for her

   and those who would pass and see

   would pour a little more of her into it

She had a place, amongst the shabby people

The dead artists and those who would not die

Fluttering through past flames of glory, or illusion

She would be there

   stoking the blaze

Alive with the fear of an empty room

Delicately she would skim the top

   off her bowl of life

seeing each time how little was left

   slowly congealing

   like the blood in her veins

   and the bitterness in her soul

Change

Wheels of paradigm should not be so inclined

To maintain the grinding of the soul's seeds

Flouring petals denied their bloom

Wheels of paradigm may never be inclined down slopes

Less explored, dust and hopes

Ignore petals allowed their glory

Slumber cyclic dreams

Self fulfilled fear

Comfort of the known caress 

Lulled, gentle turning and returning

    The broken mind knows its mind

    And doesn't mind its paradigm

    A broken mind seeks to find

    Another mind beyond its kind

Fingers of change push in to the damp soil of the heart

Lifting and turning, feeling for smothered bulbs

That long for light to shine radiant petals

Breaking through broken wheels that were inclined

To explore dust and hope

The cycle of growth breaks dreams

Of comforting caress

Exposing to sunlight, creating duress

To change, to roll wheels

Kick heals, new ideals

Dry bulb's sleeping petals

Burst colour, life

Undreamed, unformed

Never too late

Patriotic Eyes

I wrote this many years ago and, noticing it was Memorial Day in the US,  I dusted it off. Although we choose to remember the valour and brave actions of those lost and the heartbreak that brought to families, we should be more aware of the bigger picture and the reality of all those affected. Of course, I've never fought in a war, so may not be qualified to write this, but after all I have seen and read, and what my heart says, I think it stands.

And what of our future;

Glories of war, past and present,

Lies and myths float on the phosphorous clouds

Inhaled by Red, Yellow, Black...

We have fought with patriotic eyes, 

   As have they!

Who can see death without tears?

How many knew the reasons?

   Innocent, ignorant, martyrs.

A dawn's early mist drifts and carries fatigue, 

Echoes of shellfire - 

   Scarred earth - 

      A child's terror,

Nightmare vision and Godless chills

And prickling hackles

Making beds for propaganda - patronising, patriots,

   Fanatics.

At the setting of the sun

And in the morning

We will grieve them, 

Lest we remember.

We Are One

When a heart slows, beating into the mist

When footsteps disconnect, reality bleeding

Eyes tunnel

Voices funnel

The overload begins, the mind retreats

Neurons firing in slowmo

Curling foetal, dreams warmth embracing

Clawing rest, wresting the peace

It will come, it floats through

It curls and folds

It draws and caresses 

It speaks

Can't fight it

Process light it

Fuse ignite it

Oils flowing, warming

Flames passion, intimate touch

Breathe and whisper

We are here, we are one

We sleep and dream, live and scream

We shout our love through the mist

The overload retreats

And we rest in the afterglow

We are one

We are

Relationship 101

I think I've got it all sussed now.

Its all very simple really. It comes down to why God created us. After much thoughtful contemplation - well about 40 years worth really, and some of it not very thoughtful (but that's another story), I've realised He created us to have a relationship with Him.

That may not sound overly profound as such, but the implications are huge. For starters, what sort of relationship, and how do we get it? 

Well, the bible talks about intimacy, I mean, look at Song of Solomon - that's really intimate. But when I look at the big picture, I can see it comes down to our complete union/oneness with him. 

Everything we know about love and Jesus and Holy Spirit and Father all centres around an intimate relationship. But here's where it gets interesting. I can't have an intimate relationship with anyone if we don't communicate. Its a two way thing - intimacy from both partners, transparency, trust, unconditional love for and from both sides - otherwise it isn't a relationship.

Many christians and spiritual people in general, will talk about our unity/oneness with God and enjoy him in nature and seeing his heart in everything all around them including other people. And this is true, its a good thing, a great thing! But is it relationship? Do we talk to Him, hear Him, like any other lover talks with their beloved. Yes, its that sort of intimacy He created us for! Not a pseudo-pantheistic oneness with the universe, although its part of the picture. I'm talking about real conversations, whether hearing voices or hearing with our hearts. I'm not talking about reading the bible or christian books or listening to teachings. 

This is the real deal - 

"Yes, I know God, we chat away all the time, He's so interesting and we talk about  everything...", 

"I was talking to God the other day about my son's sore foot, and He reckoned it will be OK if he rests it...", 

"We were discussing what I thought about this book yesterday and He said it was basically OK but some of the stuff was just the guy projecting his own issues...", 

"We went for a walk this morning and He just kept telling me how much He loved me, even all the stuff I hate about myself, well, He just cut through all that and I got overwhelmed..." 

That's the sort of real.

In the end its the only thing that matters. It doesn't matter how we get there. It doesn't matter what doctrines we believe. It doesn't matter what process or rituals. It doesn't matter if you are baptised, spirit filled, have said the sinners prayer or even 'given your life to Jesus'. That was all taken care of a couple of thousand years ago. 

He just wants to live with us, to be our lover/partner/father/mother/brother/sister. When we are in that place, all our "issues" just fall away, without even trying. In the presence of that level of intimacy and being engulfed in that much love, we just "are". Nothing else matters.

Things what I've been thunking

Well, here goes...

Christianity doesn't work.

I mean, on so many levels, it just doesn't work.

Oh, I know all the theology and doctrines - done hundreds of seminars, been to bible college, read I don't know how many books and sat through zillions of sermons. So I get it, I understand it. But in terms of being the solution to life the universe and everything - it just doesn't work!

But here it is, stay with me...

Its the fruit that reveals the truth. I have to look at the fruit of "christendom" and, well, its just not there. Yes, there's many arguments about spiritual truth going out to all mankind and what is happening "in the spirit", got all that. But I'm talking about real fruit. Fruit that "feeds" the world on every level - love, joy and peace.

Look at the history of the church. It's produced more hatred, bigotry, racism, political strife, wars, genocide than any other culture on this planet. Lets look at the state of the church now. There have never been more denominations, cults etc, all claiming to have "the truth". Never more division, fighting, slander. The list of failures would fill a book!

So what's the problem? Many of course, say that scripture is always open to abuse - we all know that, and it never changes anything.
So I ask bigger questions, and a lot of people are asking these questions. What if the universal truths contained in the scriptures are far more encompassing than we imagined. That we have limited truth to a particular culture and mindset that it was never meant to be? We have desperately tried for 2000 years to make it all fit, and we are no closer, probably further away, than we have ever been.

So what are the "universal truths"?

The most important one is Love. The bible says it, nearly all other cultures say it, and, more than anything, our hearts say it!

Perhaps the next would be the nature of man. The bible, most cultures, and our hearts say that we are basically stuffed and are forever trying to embrace the one most important truth - Love.

Maybe we could then say that the solution to this dilemma can only be found in God, that no amount of struggling and striving can solve the problem. And perhaps the whole idea of "Christ" as personified in Jesus, is THE solution to life the universe and everything. I'm not talking about our narrow, bigoted, dogmatic traditional perspective. I mean the universal truth of what Christ did - big enough to redeem all of mankind with a plan that is so way beyond a narrow christian viewpoint that we are only just beginning to grasp little bits of it.

And maybe who and what Jesus is and did is so mindbogglingly powerful that its too big to be contained in one book and controlled by one group of people.

Perhaps the last universal truth that underpins all the others, is that God created us for intimacy with Him. I'm not talking about being "one with nature" (although that's pretty cool) and denying our pains and struggles to embrace some vague pie-in-the-sky ideal. I'm talking about knowing God, like I know my best friend. Not just feeling good about God and appreciating Him in everything and loving everyone because it feels good. I mean KNOWING Him, talking, listening, sharing, laughing, crying. All the reality of this life with Him, INSIDE us - intrinsically bound together in heart and mind like lovers.

So is the bible the sole source of truth? I don't think so. What about our hearts? Far more than we think! What about Jesus? The timeless act of Jesus the Christ, before the foundation of the world, outside of time, gave us free access to intimacy with Him who created us - every single person past, present and future.

What about morality, evil, deception, ethics... intimacy takes care of ALL that stuff. The more I look at that, the more real it becomes. Intimacy with He who made us is the only solution. It bypasses every law/tradition/principle/sin/evil/religion - everything! It takes us straight to the heart of all things, where all love, joy and peace originates.

So does christianity "work"? No! All that works in any sense, is acknowledging what Christ has done and walking into deep personal union with God. Nothing more and nothing less.

This is full of generalisations and I know there are many questions that need detailed answers. But I put it out there to challenge and ask those questions and dig deep for real answers. And I've left a lot of comments open ended for your entertainment. God doesn't mind, lets really use those brains and hearts he gave us.