Old demos

Hey boys and girls, I found some old demos I did back in the 80s. You thought the other stuff was tacky!... but it was the 80s after all. I've got a few more, might just post the ones that aren't too embarrassing.

The CCC student project was done as part of the CCC Creative Arts course when I taught there for a while. Students wrote the lyrics and I did the music - I ended up singing this one as the girl who wrote the lyrics couldn't sing. I can't remember who she was so if you are out there and find this let me know!

You'll find it in the Jim's Music tab.

Min's Songs

Min has written some amazing songs over the years but unfortunatley we haven't had a chance to record the newer ones or do justice to the older ones.

I've published one called Draw Me in the Media Player. The recording is live at a Living Waters conference and was taken straight from the mix so its very rough, but it gives you an idea.

I would really love to record Min's songs very soon as we are unsure of the future and I believe she has so much to offer yet. I believe her songs should be out there for all to hear - although I am biased!

Return to Grace

Well, I bit the bullet and finally uploaded the album I did back in 95. Listening to it now makes me cringe, some of the sounds are dated and it waffles on a bit, but then it was made to put on and just chill to. It makes no demands on you and wasn't meant to have catchy melodies. It was just to "meditate" to and hopefully take you to a closer place with Father.

I have never got around to recording newer stuff and spent most of my musical time worship leading, and lately not much of anything. But it's churning around in my head and heart to get back to it and create something far more up to date, unusual, inspiring, risky, soothing and universal, sort of... well, yeah... So as time and resources start to open up you never know what might happen.

I have some old demo suff as well I might put up soon.

Wounded Healer

This is a quote from Henri Nouwen. Self explanatory really:

"Nobody escapes being wounded. We all are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not “How can we hide our wounds?” so we don’t have to be embarrassed, but “How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?” When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.
Jesus is God’s wounded healer: through his wounds we are healed. Jesus’ suffering and death brought joy and life. His humiliation brought glory; his rejection brought a community of love. As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to others."

Sometimes life's journey just seems to get harder, but the hope that my wounds may one day bring life brings life to me now.

Cool Quote

"Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see."- C. S. Lewis

So how do we do this?

You read all the books and try to discipline yourself to do all the things that will bring you closer to God and empower you to live that awesome life the bible talks about. But it's a battle full of self doubt, all the classic stuff - that they talk about in all the books. Maybe I missed something in all those books?

You know, I could go on trying to do Christianity, and do a reasonably good job at it. Most of us, who have been doing it for a while, know enough about grace and forgiveness and love and righteousness to live a passable life. We could even do all the stuff Jesus says to do and feed the poor and look after the widows - really good stuff. We could cast out demons and heal the sick - he said we should do that too. Hmm, that's a tricky one. I've read lots of books about that and had a good go at it at times. But there seems to be a few problems...
Doesn't always work is the main one. Feeding the poor always works, and looking after the widows works too, but the other stuff gets really mixed results. If He said we should heal the sick (that's heal the sick - not just pray for them) surely he would give us the means to do it? The bible said he has - "by his stripes (physical wounds he received) we are healed", not might be healed, or could be if we do the right things, or pray enough, but are healed. So I must still be missing the point here.

Now I know I've opened up a very large can of horrible little squirmy things. That why there are so many books written about it. But not many of them really get to the nitty gritty of it - we either are healed, like Jesus said, or we aint. so the real question is how do we get it?

There's a lot of teaching about the kingdom of God being "now and not yet", an awesome concept to cover all the missing bits that don't happen yet, like peace on earth, healing, complete authority over the devil and all his works and so on. The kingdom of God is here, but not in it's fullness yet. We are still learning to "do" it. It's a tidy idea and a good piece of theology that fixes up the problems we seem to have with Jesus commands. But Jesus didn't actually say it anywhere, not really. He said a lot about "you got it - no get out there and do it". Yes there are some that "only come out with prayer and fasting" - and I think we night have taken that to mean whole lot more than He did.

So I think about how I can figure this out, I mean, I've taken a long time over this and read lots of books and tried lots of things. The conclusion? Get to know God better! Easy - ish. If I knew Him better, I mean really knew how he feels about things, about how to do things and his love for me and everyone else - everything really, Then there wouldn't be a problem cos He'd tell me what to do when I needed to do it. That way I can't possibly go wrong. I suppose He wouldn't tell me everything though because we have to find things out for ourselves. Sort of look at what He's told us already and figure things out from that. He hasn't hidden anything from us - He's hidden them for us to find (thanks to Bill Johnson for that one). This builds faith as I trust Him. But if I don't really know Him enough I'll never properly figure anything out for myself. The only solution left that I can see is having some sort of on going intense, real, personal encounter with Him. One that builds our relationship, cements the realisation beyond a doubt that he loves me and always wants the best for me, and gives me such a lasting longing for more of Him that I can truly be confident in all I do.

Now that would change everything! A real, tangible encounter with the God who created everything. Then I would know He was with me all the time - I could turn to Him and take His hand when I felt fragile - He'd give me hope and direction when I needed it - I'd know His voice so well because I would have heard Him, felt Him, experienced Him. And I could heal all the sick and have total authority over all the works of the enemy - just like he said I would.

And He promised this sort of relationship is for EVERY believer - now all I have to do is figure out why I'm not quite there yet...